Tired Of Terror

Duct tape?

That's what it's come down to?

Duct tape?

Are they kidding us?

I couldn't believe it when U.S. Fire Administrator David Paulison described a list of stuff you should have around the house in the event of a chemical, nuclear or biological attack - just in case.

Here's the list of stuff he recommended:

Three days' worth of water and food for each person in your safe room.

An emergency supply kit for both home and auto with extra batteries.

Plastic sheeting and duct tape to seal off your safe room. He suggested you cut the sheeting in advance to fit over doors and windows quickly and easily.

You're also supposed to make a plan for contacting family members in an emergency.

And you're admonished to learn about the different types of attacks so you will know what to do in an emergency.

And after all that, you're NOT supposed to cancel any events or travel plans. You're supposed to live normally. Well, except you should be especially aware of your surroundings and the events happening around you.

And I guess you need to be careful not to stumble over that pile of emergency crap you just stuffed into your safe room.

So the next thing you know, CNN's doing stories about this.

And the next thing you know after that, CNN's doing stories about how stores around New York and Washington, D.C., are selling out of duct tape and plastic sheeting.

And I would guess as word spreads, stores across the country will be selling out of duct tape and plastic sheeting.

It's just ridiculous to me.

First of all, it seems to me that if air can get into your safe room, so can radiation or chemicals or germs.

When I was a kid people dug fallout shelters. Those were underground and even those weren't deemed completely safe.

So I guess I don't have much faith in duct tape and plastic sheeting as shelter from weapons of mass destruction.

The government would never segregate us into categories of terror likelihood.

But everybody knows people who live in Washington, D.C., or New York or L.A. probably are more likely to be terror victims than people who live in Leesburg or Silver Lake.

But no matter, the whole country is on Orange Alert Terror status and by golly we better go out and get some duct tape.

I know what's happening.

They're trying to wear us down. The government is trying to make us so sick and tired of this Iraq/al Qaida/terror/weapons of mass destruction/alert status stuff that we all simultaneously will say, "Enough! Just bomb the crap out of something already, will ya?"

If I sound cynical, it's because I am. I hate what's going on with this terror stuff.

Sometimes I think we would have been better off if we just would "officially" ignore this terror business.

I mean, let the CIA and the FBI and all the government sleuths work overtime and keep us safe within our own borders.

Let them work covertly in other countries to quietly rub out all those tyrannical, terrorist-type leaders.

And if anybody complains, we, superpower that we are, could just shrug and say, "Yeah, well, what are you gonna do about it? Remember that whole 9/11 thing? It's payback time."

And we wouldn't even have to know about any of it.

Ignorance is bliss.

The stock market wouldn't know about it so our 401(k) accounts wouldn't be getting all beat up.

And the oil companies wouldn't know about it so gas prices wouldn't be rising.

And consumers wouldn't know about it so the economy would keep rolling along.

And with the good economy, there would be more money in the treasury and the deficits would go away.

I know my ignorance-is-bliss idea borders on the ludicrous, but really, duct tape? That sent me over the edge.

And the sad thing is, I need duct tape. I just ran out the other day. I need duct tape but I absolutely will not go to the store to buy some, lest the clerk think I'm fixin' to tape me upÊa safe room.

I really don't mean to make light of any of this. I know these are trying times for our goverment and our nation.

It seems like every day there is more bad news.

A couple days after the duct tape admonishment came the revelation from U.S. intelligence officials that North Korea has a nuclear missile that can reach Los Angeles.

It's difficult to hear all this glum news all the time. Maybe that's what fuels the fire of my cynicism.

I guess I'm fighting my own, personal battle against terrorism - in my mind. I am trying to ignore it.

It's not working.