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I’ve heard stories of families traveling to Walt Disneyworld, and how the parents realized upon return from the happiest place on Earth all the kids could talk about was how much fun they had in the pool.
The 2026 FIFA Men’s World Cup soccer/futbol tournament launched last week, and the memes, videos, and features lead me to believe long after World Cup fans traveling from other countries to the United States for the first time will remember more about the U.S. culture, especially our food, drink, and the extraordinary portions.
With all this said, this is ranch dressing’s shining moment.
Oh, there will be talk about formations, tactics, and who’s bringing the strongest squad, the storylines grabbing me are unfolding off the field and in the stands more than on the pitch.
Ranch dressing, portion sizes that could feed a youth team, and the uniquely American idea that your drink should never, ever, reach the bottom are stealing the headlines.
We gotta start with ranch.
Now, around here, ranch isn’t anything special. It’s just there in our fridges, on our tables, or brought to the table while eating chicken wings.
It’s just… there.
Folks coming in from Europe, South America, or just about anywhere else, however, ranch shows up like an unannounced guest who somehow knows everybody.
“Soooo… wot duz deess rrranch go on?, they’ll ask.
The answer, of course, is yes.
I wish I were staying in a U.S. host city to watch this unfold even more than I wish I were watching what is arguably the best quality soccer the U.S. will host until the next time we host a World Cup.
I can see it now. A fan from overseas tentatively takes that first—maybe with a French fry, maybe a piece of pizza crust remaining from the rest of the already eaten slice.
Wait for it…
I wanted to witness the moment of evaluation to see if I could pick up the cues that crescendo to an inevitable opinion shift… on ranch.
It’s like seeing converts in a Baptist tent revival “feelin’ that Holy Ghost powah!”
As Karen Carpenter once sang, “we’ve only just begun….”
I’m listening to After The Whistle, a podcast co-hosted by American Brendan Hunt and England’s Rebecca Lowe. I chose this podcast because I perceived, through their delivery, and their ability to keep their show near 60 minutes, they’d do a great job of dumbing down international soccer for me.
I’m content with just enough information for me to understand the tournament but stay quieter than I usually am in a group without falling behind the conversation.
I’d enjoy their take on the next fascinating off-field hot topic: U.S. meal portion sizes in a scouting report format.
Visitors might come in thinking they’ll grab a quick bite before the match, but the scouting report would manage their expectations when the meal arrives at the fans’ tables.
Once you put your hands on most restaurants’ hamburgers these days, for example, if you put it down to sip your drink, or dip your fries in (what else?) ranch, it falls apart.
My tastes are simple – ketchup, raw onions, meat, bun – so I do not experience this challenge, but burgers in our current state of offerings, are ALL whoppers.
I can only imagine the blended look of amusement and concern among foreign visitors eating in the World Cup host cities.
“I didn’t order the large burger, did I?”
“No,” the server replies. “we have smaller children’s menu items, though..”
This is who we are on game day in the United States. When in Rome… bring pants with a stretch waistband.
We don’t even blink. Nobody ever accused American sports culture of pacing itself at the restaurant table, and even in the early 1990s Saturday Night Live “Superfans” sketch (DAH Bearsss – in case you lived a monastic lifestyle the last 26 years) traded lines about each Superfan and how many heart attacks they had.
But wait, there’s more. When our visiting friends think they’ve got their delightful discovery of ranch and figured out the customary size of our generous portions, someone refills their drink unceremoniously… and it’s absolutely FREE!
In much of the world, you order a drink, you get a drink, and end of transaction as opposed to your first non-alcoholic beverage here in the U.S. being just a good start.
I’m wondering what ran through first-time foreign visitors’ minds when consuming soft drinks this last week. Did a Hansel and Gretel vibe set in by the time they received a third refill?
Are media traveling to the States analyzing – when action moves into the stadium – the execution of assembling the hearty concessions from cash register to assigned seat as much they discuss assembling the match’s lineup?
Throughout each of the U.S.-hosted venues, today is just… Saturday.
Someone visiting from afar, however, is experiencing a blend of curiosity, disbelief, and appreciation. Conversations start over things we don’t even think about—portion sizes, refills, whether ranch really does go with everything.
I recall working on a project requiring 12-14 hours of daily work among nine days in Nevada in 2001 with a gentleman from India who had made one of his earliest business trips to the United States.
He was born and educated in India, was an ex-pat in Dubai, then made his permanent home in Toronto, Ontario.
Somewhere near the business assignment’s midpoint, I introduced him to Buffalo-style chicken wings. Almost every dinner thereafter was at any restaurant where chicken wings were served.
25 years ago, he too fell under the spell of ranch dressing and ranch dip during that business trip.
About three years later at another colleague’s farewell dinner, he and numerous other Royal Group friends and co-workers met at Turtle Jack’s - a Canadian chicken wings joint – and I heard him tell someone seated near him, “Chip… he’s the one who introduced me to chicken wings.”
Years from now, most of these fans won’t recall every score or substitution but they’ll remember their first meal that didn’t quite fit on its tray, the bottomless beverages (with ice for that matter), and that creamy, white sauce that showed up everywhere and somehow made sense in its first moment.
They’ll remember that in the United States, watching sports is only part of the experience.
The rest of it comes with fries, and yes, you can get ranch with that.
