Continuously serving Kosciusko County since 1854
The other day I was in the grocery store early in the morning before work. I thought I would be nice and purchase a box of muffins for the crew at work.
I had a couple jugs of water, so I had a cart. As I wheeled the cart into the aisle containing the muffins, there was a guy from a bakery stocking shelves.
His big cart full of bread-like products occluded fully half of the aisle. He was on the other side of the aisle. Even so there was still room for me to wheel my cart past, except for the fact that one of the bakery guy's empty plastic bin things was right in the middle of the aisle.
As I approached, he noticed me without looking at me. He waited until I was within a couple feet and then looked up at me. I smiled and said, "Good morning."
He sneered, said nothing and angrily kicked the plastic bin thing out of my way, seemingly annoyed by my very presence. I should have glanced at the brand of bakery items he was stocking. That way I could have boycotted his company, but I didn't think of that until later.
He probably stocked the very muffins I purchased that morning. I hope not.
But the incident gave me pause to think about the level of incivility in society these days.
I mean, really. It's starting to get out of hand.
I know that throughout history there have always been mean people. And I am sure generation after generation of people my age has said the same thing - that society is becoming more intolerant, more vile.
But you know what? That doesn't mean society isn't becoming less civil.
The evidence is fairly compelling. I mean, when was the last time somebody took the stage to gun down a musician? That's some pretty wacky stuff, there.
There are fans and there are fans, but come on. This "fan" apparently was angry because guitarist "Dimebag" left his former band. So angry, in fact, that he felt it necessary to summarily execute him and a trio of other innocent people. That's just bizarre. It defies explanation.
And then there are the NBA players and fans in-volved in the debacle in Detroit.
I understand how rabid fans can be in support of their favorite teams, but really, throwing full beverage cups at players? Hurling chairs across the floor?
And you know, these were not the people in the cheap seats. These fans were sitting courtside in seats that you and I could never afford.
These were people of means.
And the players?
It wasn't the scrubs coming off the bench involved in the fracas, it was the stars of the team.
One would think that regardless of fan behavior, the millionaire NBA players would be able to rein in their emotions enough to keep them from jumping into the stands to punch somebody out.
There are plenty of examples of incivility and I - old fuddy-duddy that I am - don't care what anybody says, it's getting worse.
Of course the million-dollar question is why?
And there, of course, is no clear-cut answer. But I think there are a couple pretty obvious suspects.
First of all, I just think we all are driven. I mean, we all think we have to work a lot and make lots of money and buy lots of stuff. I think that kind of attitude promotes a certain level of cultural competition.
When you have it in your head that you need to get ahead of everybody else, it breeds incivility.
Ever notice any impatient drivers? Ever notice any impatient customers waiting to check out? Time is money. Get the hell out of my way!
You get the picture.
The other thing that I think contributes to a heightened level of incivility is culture itself.
Look at how we entertain ourselves these days. The more graphic and violent the stuff is, the more we love it.
We've even got a video game where the goal is to assassinate the president.
I've long said that streaming a steady diet of sex and violence into the nation's youth would produce less civil adults.
And there seems to be some proof.
A 2002 study by the National Institute on Media and the Family shows the rude and crude behavior in movies and on television is mirrored in the way children who are heavy viewers of violent media treat one another. In addition, kids who prefer violent entertainment tend to be more suspicious of others.
On the mediafamily.org Web site, you can find the following:
"This study asked teachers and students about how kids in their class treated one another," said study co-author David Walsh, Ph.D., the founder and president of the National Institute on Media and the Family. "Those questioned had no idea how much violent media the other students were exposed to. What we found is that the kids whom teachers and peers rated as the meanest were the ones who watched the most violent media.
"The study also showed that as children grew older, the more violent media they are exposed to and the more they like it," Walsh said. "They become desensitized and watch more. Concerns about a growing culture of 'incivility' in society may be starting with our children."
Kind of unsettling, isn't it?
But I still think there is hope. Kids learn most by example. So if all the adults around them are civil, they will have a better chance of being civil as well.
So, for the holiday season, how about giving each other the gift of civility. Be nice. Be patient. Give up your place in line. No one-finger salutes on the highway.
Let's make Kosciusko County the civility capital of the world.
