The Contrasting Images Were Confusing

The feeling was surreal, even for a "jaded journalist".

Sitting in the Center Lake Pavilion for the annual Kosciusko County Foundation's "Heart of Gold" awards last Tuesday, hearing the words of praise for the nearly 50 county residents who symbolize the best in the human spirit - those who give selflessly to better the lives of others around them, those who often can't do that for themselves.

And, while hearing about those deeds of kindness, justifiably worthy of praise, I couldn't keep the sights and sounds of that afternoon from swirling through my head. The frantic cries for help and the heart-breaking reports of injuries and death in a high school half a continent away.

How can one species - the human species - offer up such diametrically opposed members? What made Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, the alleged gunmen, so much different than Warsaw Community High School student Kathryn Massur, who was recognized for her service to others? What made the two young men in Colorado so callous and unfeeling towards their fellow man? They were the complete opposite of the four Washington Elementary School students who received A Heart of Gold award for their devotion to and care of a friend who is differently-abled.

The stories about the neighbors here warmed my heart. They also caused a dissonance in my mind and soul as I tried to understand how these neighbors can commit such wonderful acts of kindness and how two teenage boys a thousand miles away could have committed such an act of brutality.

The questions still bother me - the why's and the how's.

Were those boys just evil? Bad seeds? Time bombs who picked Tuesday as the right day for their lethal detonation?

Or, are they all too much alike you and me? Like Chris Armey, or Patrick Brown, or Allan Alderfer, or any of the other deserving honorees Tuesday.

Something went dreadfully wrong somewhere. And, it's incumbent on all of us to find out where and why. Because this wasn't simply a failure of the parents of those disturbed young men. This was a failure of our society - in Littleton, Colo., in Warsaw, Ind., and in every city, village and hamlet across this country.

We need to talk to our young people about the true ugliness of violence. It isn't something to be glorified like it so often is in our culture.

Everyday, through video games, television, movies, and music, our children are bombarded with so many images of death and mayhem that violence has become something not to be recoiled from, but embraced. Is it any wonder, then, that some our children see violent retribution for slights - real or perceived - as being acceptable?

I understand that not every teenager is going to pick up a weapon or build a bomb and go on a rampage. But, it only took two in Littleton. It only took one at Paducah, Ky., and one in Pearl, Miss.

I can't help but believe that if parents paid more attention to what their children watched and played, these tragedies wouldn't happen. Allowing our children to play video games where the main object is to explode your opponent's head with a hand gun desensitizes them to that sort of violent act. Allowing them to fill their brains with a constant stream of images portrayed in all too many songs of today - of killing for fun or killing for vengeance or killing for hate.

We have to give our children a different message. And, we must insist that they hear it and live by the message, "All life is sacred and worthwhile and deserving of respect."

I also can't help but believe that if we, as a society, had not denigrated the concept of discipline - self-imposed or external - then events like this would never happen. When discipline was exercised at home and in the schools, the worst behavioral problems we had were spit balls, not bullets. Today, discipline isn't exercised because we're worried about "protecting the children's self-esteem". How much self-esteem did Harris and Klebold have? How much will be remaining in the victims that survived - forced to live with the indelible images of their friends who didn't make it out of Columbine High School being blown away?

Those two young men had a perverted concept that their own feelings, wants and desires took precedence over everything else, including the lives of their classmates and teachers. Through a variety of influences, they saw that death and destruction were reasonable responses to whatever perceived slights against them may have been.

How did they develop that attitude when Kathryn Massur, Chayla Bassford, Ariel Howard, Allison Reichard, Kaci Smith and the 42 other people considered to have "Hearts of Gold" didn't? They were all raised in the same society and had essentially the same cultural influences.

I don't know the answer to this question and we, as a society, need to search for and find the answer.

And, we need to do it quickly - before another tragedy occurs.