Suicidal Youth May Show Warning Signs; Help Available
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David Slone-dslone@timesuniononline.com
Editor’s Note: September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and Wednesday was World Suicide Prevention Day. This is the final part in a three-part series looking at youth suicide. When a young person commits suicide, survivors may wonder if there were warning signs or if there was anything they could do. Usually there are warning signs, though some may be more direct than others. Warning signs for a suicidal youth may include something explicit like going on Facebook and stating, “My life is over, I wish I were dead.” Other warnings may be subtle like giving away things they prized, trying to find a home for a pet they liked, quitting things they enjoyed like clubs or a sudden interest or disinterest in religion. “It’s all about changes really,” Bowen Center Corporate Training Coordinator Huntter Randall said, which also can include dress style. Psychologist Dr. Richard Ruhrold, Bowen Center senior vice president, clinical services, said other things to watch for are declining interest in school and declining school grades. “It’s unlikely you’re going to find suicide without signs of depression. Signs of depression are things to look out for,” he said, such as change in appetite and withdrawal. “One of the things we’ve been championing is that parents, teachers and others need to keep in mind that, again, kids that are thinking about hurting themselves rarely tell adults. So, I think that implies two things,” Ruhrold said. One is the importance of kids being taught about suicide risk and having the courage to speak up when they’re afraid for one of their peers. They should tell a trusted adult that they have reason to think someone they know is considering suicide. “Along with that, we adults need to ask kids if they’re thinking about hurting themselves,” Ruhrold continued. “Parents are continously encouraged to have conversations with their kids about drugs, about alcohol, about sex, about things that they value and they expect. Add to that list, we need to be talking to our kids about suicide.” He said parents can start the conversation by saying, “You know, I care about you, I love you and there’s something that I want to talk to you about.” The child will probably roll their eyes and not want to talk about this. “So what?” he said. “Say, ‘I hear too many stories of kids who are trying to hurt themselves and try to take their own lives.’ I’ve done this with my own kids. You look them in the eye and say, ‘Have you ever had thoughts of taking your own life?’ And just at least get the topic on the table. And it’s not just one conversation. The kid may look at you and laugh and that conversation may not go very far. But you’re bringing it to the fore, and you can bring it up again at some point. And just by bringing it up, you’re sending your kid a message that this is something OK to talk about because as a parent, as a caregiver, I’m making it OK to talk about. ... So if kids start having thoughts about hurting themselves, or become aware that a friend of theirs is, they’re more likely to bring it forth because the adult has taken the initiative to make it a topic that’s OK to discuss, to point out that it’s not a taboo subject. So that’s really important. Start the dialogue,” he said. Ruhrold said parents will be surprised at what answers they get. “Because we know when kids are asked, a substantial portion will answer yes to that,” he said. If a kid responds “yes,” then the parent needs to ask some other questions like: What have you thought about? When did you think about it? Are you thinking about it now? If a parent has any doubt that their child may not be safe, then they need to seek professional support. They can call their local mental health center, family physician, talk to their pastor, school counselor or a local police officer trained in suicide prevention. “There’s a lot of people out there who can help. But when in doubt, ask,” Ruhrold said. “We can’t assume because ‘my kid seems happy, that they’re doing well in school that it can’t happen at our house.’ That’s a very dangerous assumption: It couldn’t happen here. Well, yeah, it could.” “And it does,” Randall added. The Bowen Center has adopted an internationally known program called QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer). “One of the first local organizations that invited us to come and start doing these presentations was the Tippecanoe Valley High School,” Randall said. Valley decided the first group to see the presentation would be bus drivers. “They see them (students) at the beginning of their day, they see them at the end of their day,” Randall said. “They get to know those kids,” Ruhrold said. Randall said bus drivers observe the kids with the rest of their peers in a way others don’t see them. “That was brilliant thinking,” he said. From there, the QPR program was presented to student support groups, every teacher, every administrator in the school system as well as parents and community members. According to information on QPR provided by Randall, the program is not intended to be a form of counseling or treatment. It is intended to offer hope through positive action. “This is a program that the Bowen Center offers,” he said. Randall said he’s also taken the program to Triton, Wabash and Columbia City. Negotiations have taken place to bring the program to Warsaw, Wawasee and Huntington. “Right now there’s a big rush to get this information (out) and this QPR program is the preferred method because it is so very simple,” Randall said. “It’s very practical, very common sensical. It’s really all about not isolating different groups of people to manage this problem. We can’t say, ‘the parents should handle this.’ We can’t say, ‘the minister should handle this.’ We can’t say, ‘the mental health specialists should manage this.’ We have to take a stance that it’s everyone’s issue, everyone’s problem.” Randall and Ruhrold also offered the phone number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255), the caller will be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in their area, anytime 24/7.
