Not that many years ago, Santa Claus came to visit me annually and ask me for my take on who in sports had been naughty and who had been nice, so that he could finalize his list for his epic journey on Christmas Eve. Well, it had been a few years since St. Nick wandered into my neighborhood for advice, but Monday night I heard an airborne vehicle circling my humble home and I knew who it was. I slipped outside without my 6-year-old knowing where I was and who I was talking to (she’s already really upset with me for not introducing her to Santa’s reindeer at the radio station Christmas party last week). Santa and I stood on the curb, his arms folded just above his plump midsection and my hands in my pockets to try to keep them warm, and we chatted. He was back to get my feelings on people in sports: who was worthy of gifts and what they might really like or need this year. I was happy to oblige. I suggested that Andrew Luck of the Colts had not had a good year playing quarterback, but that he’d been a good guy and a good teammate anyway. I asked Santa to bring the Colts a new General Manager who will draft some good offensive lineman. Santa said even HE couldn’t watch Sunday’s game against Houston! I also think that Cubs President Theo Epstein deserves an extra-big present this year. After making it to within four wins of the World Series with players mostly under the age of 27, he went out and signed some veterans that all Cub fans hope will end the more than a century-long drought since the north-siders were last the champions of baseball. I asked Santa to bring Theo an extra supply of cold beverages and snacks for his private box at Wrigley Field for what should be the most exciting season in a long time. Warsaw boys basketball coach Doug Ogle just won his 200th game last week, and I suggested to Santa that he bring the coach enough “M & M’s” to last for the rest of the season. Santa said “Oh … Mangas and Marandet … I get it. The elves came down and watched the Tigers play on Friday and they were really impressed.” “Done,” he asked. “Who else?” I also asked the man with the beard to bring Warsaw football coach Phil Jensen an extra soft couch to lay on while he recovers from falling from an attic ladder onto the floor of his garage two weeks ago. And I asked Santa to throw in a win in 2016 for every cracked rib in Jensen’s body, and if Santa makes good on that one we just might have that first-ever sectional championship we’ve been hoping for. I told Santa to add Tippecanoe Valley girls basketball coach Chris Kindig to the good list for his good work there, and several other coaches and players in the area who were doing well and showing good sportsmanship throughout the year. And then we started to get down to the business of those who had NOT been as good, or not good at all. First on the list has to be the ownership and management of the Philadelphia 76ers. It’s one thing to “take it easy” at the end of a season to improve your draft positioning, but that usually lasts a season or two, and by the end of the second year you can generally see the plan that front office is trying to implement. Not in Philly! How could anyone, with a straight face, charge full ticket prices for a team that has no good players and a 1-28 record? Also on the naughty list is Giants receiver Odell Beckham Jr. This young man makes a catch every week that makes you shake your head with disbelief. But last Sunday he played like a crazy man in a last-second loss to Carolina and was flagged multiple times for unsportsmanlike conduct. One play in particular was disturbing. Beckham rammed the crown of his helmet into the side of the helmet of a Panther defensive back with whom he’d been involved in a personal battle all afternoon long. Beckham should have been ejected, and the league suspended him for one game. On top of that, Beckham says he will appeal. USC football coach Steve Sarkisian should also expect a lump of coal from Santa Claus this year. Sarkisian showed up to a major Trojan fundraiser at the beginning of the season intoxicated and made a fool of himself in front of the most important people in the USC family. He promised to get help, and then missed a practice because he was allegedly in no condition to coach his team. Athletic Director Pat Haden cut ties with “Sark,” who immediately turned around and is suing Southern Cal for wrongful termination. I am sympathetic toward anyone who has an alcohol problem, but if you can’t do your job your employers don’t have to let you keep working. I also put in a request for Santa that a whole sleigh filled with coal be dumped down the chimney of every member of FIFA’s leadership for the way they have made corruption and unethical behavior the norm in the world’s most popular sport. Sepp Blatter and his cronies have been filling their pockets with cash for years in exchange for unscrupulous behavior like giving Qatar the World Cup in 2022. And finally, to the organizers of the Rio Olympics, which will take place next August, we back up a dump truck filled with coal. Let’s just say the health conditions in Rio aren’t the best, and the bay where the rowing and other water-related events will take place has been tested and shown to have thousands of times the amount of acceptable bacteria in it than should be. Why? Well, that bay is where the contents of the city’s toilets go. Yep, you read right. So the Brazilian Olympic Committee promised they would get it cleaned up by the time Olympians start to train there for the games. It’s not happening. In a recent interview on ESPN Radio, a member of the U.S. Olympic Committee said the Brazilians now say that it will be OK but not all cleaned up by next August. That same committee member confirmed that some of our rowing crew members went there to practice and got really sick. City leaders in Rio blamed it on Americans eating ice cream after their workout. Really? They were serious. So as he was hopping back in his sleigh, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I chuckled and waved him on saying “I got what I wanted this year, a little boy who makes me laugh and fits our family perfectly. I have a wife who puts up with me being gone all of the time broadcasting games during the fall and winter, and a daughter who wishes I was home more but takes good advantage of the time she has with me when I am home.” “I’m good pal,” I said to him. “You better get goin’.” So Santa slapped my arm as he hopped back into the driver’s seat of his candy-apple red travel sleigh, which is smaller than the one he uses to deliver presents and only requires four reindeer. He thanked me for my assistance and I told him how good it was to see him again. And I heard him exclaim as his sleigh hit the air, “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, BE A GOOD SPORT AND PLAY FAIR.”
