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When the NCAA tournament begins Thursday, 64 teams will have hopes and aspirations of the improbable - a six-game jaunt over the best teams in the country.
For some, those dreams are closer to reality than others.
Kansas, at 32-1, is the heavy favorite to come out on top. On the other hand, the Fairfield Stags won only eight games this season until they got hot and won their conference tournament with three straight victories.
One thing will be certain. Some of the oddest phrases and sayings to come across the air waves will be heard. Most of these will come from the mouth of one Dick Vitale, probably the most quotable and vocal announcer in any sport.
So, for those without much experience listening to the announcers at the numerous tournament settings, this is my guide to understanding and translating what these guys are saying. Keep this at arm's length, so that you can tell when someone is a PTPer or when the General and his troops get a scare from a small-school diaper dandy.
At-large bid: 34 of the 64 teams enter the tournament through one of these. A team that does not win its conference tournament must wait anxiously to see if it gets one of these and a trip to the tournament.
Automatic bid: The other 30 teams that enter the tournament through this route. Fairfield, at 11-18, got an automatic bid because the conference it plays in, the Metro Atlantic Conference, plays a conference tournament at the end of the season. The winner of that tournament finds its way into the final 64, whether it won 25 games or three games during the regular season.
AP Poll: One of four major ranking systems for the 307 teams vying for the 64 tournament spots. This ranks the top 25 teams as the sportswriters see them. Kansas is ranked No. 1 heading into the tournament in this poll.
Big Dance: The NCAA tournament. When a team earns an automatic bid by winning its conference tournament, the players traditionally break out in dance to celebrate.
Cinderella: An underdog. This is a team that is wearing a glass slipper after winning a game or two that it shouldn't have. One problem with Cinderellas, though - midnight always comes.
CNN/USA Today Poll: This poll is conducted by a select group of coaches among the 307 teams. This ranks the top 25 teams, as the AP Poll does. Kansas is ranked No. 1 in this poll.
Diaper Dandy: One of many Vitale quotes. This is his term for a freshman, thus the diaper, who is a superstar, thus dandy. Mike Bibby, Arizona's talented guard, is an example of a diaper dandy. Tim Thomas, from Villanova, is another example.
Elite Eight: Otherwise known as the Great Eight. The eight teams remaining have won three games and, by this point, the teams with a few upsets have been eliminated.
Final Four: Held in Indianapolis this year, the Final Four places the winning team from the West Region against the winner from the Midwest and the winner from the East against the winner from the Southeast. Of course, Virginia is in the West, California is in the East, and Arizona is in the Southeast. But that's for a different column.
The General: Bobby Knight. This is another Vitale-ism. Vitale likes to call the Indiana Hoosiers' head coach General Robert Montgomery Knight.
Michelangelo: Named after the artist who painted great works of art, Dean Smith has created a powerhouse at North Carolina. He has 875 victories, one short of the all-time record. The Tar Heels have closed out the season with 12 consecutive wins, and could meet Kansas in a huge battle in the Final Four.
NBN: Nothing-but-nylon. This is when a shot touches only the net on its way through the hoop.
NIT: This is the Big Dance for teams 65 through 96. After the NCAA picks its 64 teams, the NIT comes along and picks up the scraps. Those 32 teams compete with the thought of showing the NCAA what a big mistake it made by leaving them out of the tournament.
PTPer: Yet another Vitale quote. It stands for prime-time-player, or someone who comes up big in pressure situations. Tim Duncan of Wake Forest and Jacque Vaughn of Kansas are examples of PTPers.
RPI: Rating Power Index. This is the ranking system that the tournament selection committee seems to weigh the heaviest. Kansas is No. 1 in this ranking system.
Sagarin Ratings: Produced by Jeff Sagarin, this system puts a bunch of numbers into a computer and the computer than spits out each team's rank, from No. 1 to No. 307. Sagarin is a math graduate from MIT and nobody, but him, knows exactly how this works (and I wonder if even he does), but Kansas is ranked No. 1 in this system. As a side note, 2-22 Mercer is ranked No. 307.
Scare: Usually followed by the phrase, "... from Princeton." The Tigers come from the Ivy League and, although they are never ranked high, have 12 wins in the history of the school in the tournament. Most notably, they defeated highly-touted UCLA in the first round last year. This school thrives on keeping the score low so that they can be within a basket or two down the stretch.
Tobacco Road: Two of the most successful schools in the '90s reside on this road in North Carolina. Duke and North Carolina have three NCAA championships between them and have a combined 124-48 record in the NCAA tournament. If one of these teams don't make it to the Final Four, be very surprised.
So there it is: Your survival guide to the 63-game NCAA tournament. As a final thought, look for the Tar Heels to upset the Kansas Jayhawks in the Final Four and defeat Wake Forest in the finals to claim their second NCAA tournament of the '90s and their third under the Michelangelo of college basketball, Dean Smith.
