Is Wrestling Really Worth Watching?

NEWS FLASH: Professional wrestling is no longer suitable for the eyes of young children.

I was watching TV the other night when a commercial promoting next week's episode of the World Wrestling Federation came on, and I couldn't believe what I saw. One of the highlights was Stone Cold Steve Austin driving a beer truck to the ring and using a hose to spray beer on the unfortunate souls inside the ring.

Now I've seen it all.

So here's Austin, the guy our kids model their vocabulary and actions after, showering his co-workers with an alcoholic beverage, on prime time television so our nation's youth can soak it up.

Not only is our nation's youth exposed to alcohol through wrestling, there's foul language and scantily clad women involved as well.

But I hear your argument: This sort of thing has been going on for ages, and in more than just wrestling. This is true. You see the garbage kids watch on TV these days. What's it going to be like in 15 or 20 years when those that watch it today are producing it?

The main event would most likely be a real life fight to the death involving chainsaws and barbed wire cages. Or maybe I'm thinking of last week's show.

When I was younger I used to watch this wrestling cartoon every Saturday morning. It had Hulk Hogan, Junk Yard Dog, Captain Lou Albano, Iron Sheik, Andre the Giant and numerous others on it. I remember Hogan would always preach to us "little Hulksters" about taking our vitamins and saying our prayers and the importance of the Golden Rule. Even though I was probably only 10 years old at the time, I understood the point my heroes were trying to get across. The message was clear.

Now you can't even call it wrestling. In a wrestling program that might be televised for an hour, you'd be lucky if you saw 15 minutes of wrestling. That leaves you with 45 minutes so you and all these millions of people can watch this "soap opera" unfold.

And if I may ask, what's the point Stone Cold is trying to get across? Judging by the number of Austin 3:16 and Stone Cold University T-shirts that line our streets these days, I'd say he has a number of followers.

I'm sure the Undertaker and the Acolytes have a positive message for the millions of kids that watch wrestling religously. The Undertaker is the guy who gets secret powers from his urn and worships the dark side. The Acolytes come to the ring with pentagrams on their outfits.

I'm not trying to say that wrestling is satanic, or that it isn't fun to watch or that it's the crudest thing on television. Because it is fun to watch, and sad but true, there are far worse things kids can watch on TV these days.

If it really was wrestling, as in the sport, I don't know if it would get the sky high ratings it gets now. These kids are used to seeing Stone Cold drinking his beer and half naked women every Monday night.

I wonder if The Rock would call Dick the Bruiser a roody pooh candy -ss?

This column appears periodically. The author's views don't necessarily reflect those of the Times-Union.