Distractions Haven't Allowed Me To Fill Out My Brackets Yet
Posted
Mark Howe-mhowe@timesuniononline.com
No, I don’t have my bracket filled out yet. Traditionally, I’ve spent some time thinking about my picks, and yesterday that just wasn’t going to happen. Why? Distractions. The mornings here at the Times-Union are consumed with getting the paper out on time. Sure, there’s some discussion about the NCAA tournament, but I can’t do my job and keep up with the talk going around the office. It’s a double-edged sword, but it’s just the way I am. My afternoon was spent on a project for my kids’ baseball league, and that project is on deadline. Then it just got weird. On my way home, traffic was moving unusually slow. I thought the issue was the driver of the milk truck and not being able to shift up because, giving him the benefit, of mechanical issues. Nope. The truck turned and revealed the true culprits; two dudes riding home from work on a scooter. As Jeff Foxworthy would say “if you’re giving a friend a ride home, and the two of you are three times heavier than your six-horsepower scooter...” Other than my first girlfriend’s cooking, I’ve never seen anything smoke that bad. So I get home, eventually, and my wife asks me to help the kids with their homework. The concept is simple enough, but the practice is not, especially since I’m the only one in the household that doesn’t go to school every day. Nothing makes me feel more stupid than helping my kids with their homework. I’ve actually heard my wife, a teacher, say “boys, if you don’t clean your room, I’m going to have your father help you with your math.” Really, I’ve helped my kids with their math homework before. The bad news is that homework usually represents the lowest grades they get in the semester. I know I can get the right answer, if I can just figure out what the dang problem is. One might think, given my profession, that I could help my offspring with their English homework. Eh, not so much. “Read the story then find all the progressive adverbian transitional pronouns.” No, Mr. Foxworthy, I’m not smarter than those kids on TV, My entire family is convinced I’d never pass the ISTEP. And I’m a reasonably intelligent person. I read, I write, I ‘rythematick. I’m just not the kind who can show other people how to do those things, evidently. Maybe I should just cook dinner while my wife helps with the homework. I know I can cook better than some people. I woke up this morning thinking I could fill out my bracket and write my column at the same time. I can multi-task when it’s absolutely necessary to the advancement of mankind. But the subject of the day is “The Bachelor” finale. I must be the one person that didn’t watch it, according to my Facebook and Twitter accounts. Instead, last night, I was thinking about how I was going to fill in my brackets, then I woke up and went to bed. Once again, I’m behind the times. But at least I’m consistent.
