Da Bulls Are Becoming Da Boring

Is it just me or is anyone else tired of "da Bulls?"

I mean really.

I am not a huge NBA fan or anything, but this Bulls thing is starting to bug me.

Anytime people start saying things like "dynasty," it turns me off. And lots of people around here are just absolutely rabid about da Bulls.

They're not only talking dynasty, they're talking greatest of all time, greatest in history, greatest in the universe, blah, blah, blah.

Well I'm basically sports illiterate, so I'm not going to argue that da Bulls aren't the greatest sports team since the dawn of time. Instead, I'm going to do what my 12-year-old does so well.

I'm going to say, "So?"

Or, the more emphatic, "So what?"

Or the even more annoying, "Who cares?"

I've had it with da Bulls and I'm not afraid to say it.

I don't care if they win. I don't care if they lose. But if I was forced to name a preference, I'd prefer they lose.

Da Bulls embody everything that is wrong about professional sports. Well, maybe not everything, but lots of things.

Like money.

We aren't even through the championships yet and already we are hearing about money. I mean big money.

ESPN, who was quoting the Chicago Sun-Times, who was quoting a source close to da Bulls coach, Phil Jackson, says that Jackson is "entertaining" the idea of a one-year deal. No doubt at some stratospheric salary.

Why do they say "entertaining" anyway? That sounds stupid.

ESPN also reported that the Chicago Tribune reported that a source close to Michael Jordan reported that Jordan was "entertaining" a one-year deal worth $36 million.

But Jordan says he'll only play for da Bulls if Jackson keeps coaching da Bulls. This means that somebody is going to have to pay a lot of money if Jackson and Jordan stay with da Bulls.

And it also means, of course, that the NBA is all about money. If Jordan really loved the game, he'd play no matter who the coach was, right? And he'd play for a darn sight less than $36 million. No, it's not about the game. Make no mistake. It's about the money.

And the fans - the rabid, win-at-all-cost fans - have been completely anesthesized to it.

I was having a conversation with one of my sports guys about $36 million for one year of playing basketball. He said that when you consider the drawing card that Jordan is and how much he makes for da Bulls, (this is a direct quote, now) "$36 million a year isn't really all THAT much."

Whoa! Hold on there, sports guy. I know you're fresh out of college. I know you're probably are holding out hope to make your first million by age 30.

But remember, sports guy, I am your boss. I know how much you make. And I can assure you that $36 million a year is a LOT of money.

How much is it?

Well, a regular NBA seasons has 82 games. Each game has 60 minutes. If you do the math, you will find that Michael Jordan, if he even plays for da Bulls next season, expects to be paid $7,317.07 per minute.

Or look at it this way. A dollar bill is approximately 6 inches long. If you laid 36 million dollar bills end to end, they would stretch out 3,409 miles. If you got in your car and drove 60 miles per hour and never stopped to eat, drink or use the bathroom, it would take you somewhere around 57 hours to drive past one year's worth of Michael Jordan's dollar bills.

Color me naive, but no sports guy is worth that kind of money.

Meanwhile, if you want to take the wife and kids to see da Bulls, you have to take out a second mortgage on your house.

No matter, the fans don't seem to care. Da Bulls are worth every penny.

Of course this supportive attitude toward stratospheric salaries isn't prevalent anywhere else.

These same people who think Michael Jordan is underpaid would be the first ones to raise Cain if they found out the guy next to them on the assembly line made $.25 per hour more than them.

And they are some of the first to decry the fact that their evil, greedy boss makes so much and they make so little. I see columns in the newspaper all the time about corporate greed and how CEOs of major corporations are overpaid.

Don't see too much of that when it comes to sports stars.

The difference, of course, is that corporations actually make something. A product that we need. Like expensive tennis shoes. Sports stars don't make anything. Except money.

Isn't it funny that we loathe the CEO of Nike for making so much money while praising Jordan - Nike's number one pitchman - for making even more.

And is it any wonder kids want to "be like Mike." Everybody loves Mike. Why would you want to be like Michael (Eisner) or Bill (Gates) or Donald (Trump)?

People would accuse you of being evil and greedy.