I am 50 years old, so being on social media is work for me.
For the kids I spoke to at the Champions of Character Summit for the Northern Lakes Conference at Grace College Monday, it comes naturally. Some of them know their phones as well or better than they know their friends.
And that worries me.
I am honored to speak at the summit for the NLC in the fall and the Three Rivers Conference in the Spring. I get so much out of these kids, that I really want to give them something back – something real they can take with them for today and the rest of their lives.
As I drove away from the Manahan Orthopaedic Capital Center Monday morning, I was thinking that the foundational message I was trying to get those young people to grasp is something that we all can use in our daily lives.
What I tell the students is their use of social media can be incredibly beneficial in terms of being able to spread a message, relate a thought or unite people behind a concept or cause.
At the same time, it can be an incredibly dark and dangerous place and leaves high school kids very vulnerable to adult interactions that they probably aren’t ready to delve into.
I challenged those 75 young people to put what they post on their social media sites through a series of three tests – filters, if you will. I said to them “ask yourself these three questions before you post something on social media.”
I realize that most of the people who read my ramblings each week generally use social media less than the average person. But stay with me and see if you can draw a parallel at the end.
First, “does this post genuinely help solve a real problem?”
Too many people use communication as a way to blow off steam. They grab it like a hammer and they wield it. They hammer loud and long and with great force, and with very little concern of what they strike or the damage they do.
And when they are done, they feel better. But that feeling never lasts long, right? There is no real satisfaction in that because it doesn’t really solve the problem.
I tell the students that they can post whatever they want, but the whole point of posting something is that others read it. So what happens when someone reads it, and then shares it, and then those people share it, and all those people share it.
Then it’s out there, and you can’t reel it back in.
The second filter is “Does your post genuinely help your team and teammates?”
Is trash talking an opponent before a rivalry game or predicting what you and/or your team are going to do in the matchup everyone is excited about helpful to actual success in that game? Of course not – usually the opposite.
What we used to call “billboard material” is now on social media for everyone to see. It’s not good sportsmanship and it doesn’t show good judgement or leadership. And the kids I am talking to at Grace are kids that have been singled out by their faculty and coaches as having real leadership potential.
And finally, “Is there any possibility that you might have to apologize for this post?”
There is a philosophy that, I will admit, I bought into for a long time and I am sorry to admit it. It goes like this, “it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.” What a bunch of garbage that is! Where is the integrity in that? The truth is, it’s easier to take that route, but it’s not the best way. It shows a callous disregard for anyone who may be affected by the decision to hit “send.”
And I am sure that some alleged marketing genius will tell us all that the problems created by posting something don’t last long and are worth the freedom that comes from having your own voice.
But if you don’t care about who you hurt with your post, that’s your problem and no one else’s.
Now, do something for me. Go back through these three tests and replace the word “post” with the word “say” or “email.”
There are two kinds of people in this world: energy givers and energy takers. It’s about attitude, and people who are givers say things that make other people better. People who are takers can suck the life out of any business or organization. They are no fun to be around.
Now do yourself a favor. Take this exercise and do some soul-searching about what kind of person you are. If you really want to embrace this challenge, ask your spouse, your co-workers, your Bible study group or anyone who’s around you “am I an energy giver or an energy taker?”
Be ready for the answer to hurt … and make you better, too.
