Continuously serving Kosciusko County since 1854
Remember the couple that everyone thought would be together for eternity? Now, remember how they were divorced a year later?
In Kosciusko County, that scenario is more common than most people might want to believe.
In 1997, there were 645 marriages in the county according to the county clerk's office. There were also 492 couples who filed for divorce and 351 divorces granted.
"This doesn't surprise me. It's pretty average," said Sandy Jackson, Director of Heart to Heart Counseling Services Inc. Jackson is a licensed counselor, social worker and marriage and family therapist.
Terri Raven, M.A., Counseling Associates, agreed. "I don't think it's a shock."
In a recent estimate, Kosciusko County was ranked second in Indiana as the county having the highest number of divorces. About 50 percent of all marriages in this county end in divorce.
"It's a moral decline, but that goes from Clinton on down," Jackson said.
As of 1994, a national newspaper reported there were 7.9 marriages per 1,000 people in Indiana. The same newspaper reported 3.7 divorces per 1,000 population. The statistics were provided by the U.S. Census Department.
Nationally, the Census Bureau reported the number of currently divorced persons has quadrupled in the last 20 years from 4.3 million to 17.4 million.
Indiana law requires a person to be at least 18 years old to be married, except with court approval or parental consent. Those under 30 must present a certified copy of their birth certificates.
Men marry at an older age than women, the Census Bureau said. In 1994, men married at the median age of 26.7. Women most often married at the median age of 24.5.
Jackson said that before young people even begin the planning stages of marriage, they should seek the help of a professional.
"I'd encourage young people to get counseling to see how compatible they are for each other," she said.
"Premarital counseling is a must, particularly clarifying expectations. We all enter relationships with expectations," Raven said.
A person more than 30 years old must have only a valid driver's license, state identification or a certified birth certificate.
An applicant who has been divorced within the last two years must have their divorce decree. Jackson said remarriages end in divorce more than first-time marriages.
"They're indicating that re-marriages end in 70 to 80 percent divorces," Jackson said.
Raven said, "The last research I read said that first-time marriages end in 50 percent divorce. Second marriages are about 65 percent."
The Census Bureau said the number of people never marrying almost doubled since 1970. In 1970 there were 21.4 million adults who never married. In 1994 there were 44.2 million adults who never married.
Whether first or second divorces, the people hit hardest by divorce are the children, Jackson said. She said they are often left devastated.
"I haven't seen one situation yet ... where emotional scars aren't left," she said.
Jackson said she recently worked with a 9-year-old girl who was a good example of how children are devastated by divorce. The girl's father left the family about three years ago. For the first year and a half, the family didn't know where he was. He has since visited the children infrequently. The impact on the girl is evident, Jackson said.
"I asked her what she plans to do when she grows up and she said she wasn't sure. I asked her if she would marry and she gave a resounding 'no.' She also said 'no' to having children," Jackson said.
"She's got a negative perception of marriage and family," she said.
The Census Bureau reported that 27 percent of children today live with one parent, up from 12 percent in 1970.
Children of divorced families often have low self-esteem and can't deal with the opposite sex, Jackson said. They may turn to homosexual relationships because of family dysfunction or abuse, Jackson said.
"Counseling prior to divorce is to minimize the damage to children," Raven said.
Jackson said that when the little girl grows up, she will have a choice to make as to whether to get married, stay single or engage in a homosexual relationship.
"Divorce will move her to an area that would never have happened if the divorce never would have happened," Jackson said.
Raven wasn't so sure about the impact of divorce on children. She said, "There is a very small effect on children who go through divorce."
She said there was only one-fourth of a standard deviation difference between children whose parents divorce and children whose parents don't. Recent research said that most problems associated with children of divorce are the relationships with fathers and the behavioral changes in boys under 16.
"They think what that's attributed to is horse play," Raven said. She said that boys will often play rough with their fathers, but when fathers are not in the picture much or at all, the boys become more physical with others.
A part of getting married includes taking care of the spouse through sickness and health.
When applying for a marriage license in Indiana, men are not required to take any medical examinations. Women under age 50 must present a premarital examination certificate signed by a doctor. The exam is the standard rubella test and can only be skipped on religious grounds, presentation of evidence of sterilization, laboratory evidence of immunity to rubella or presentation of rubella vaccine administered.
Residents of Indiana pay an $18 license fee and nonresidents pay $60. Both applicants must be present and the application cannot be taken out of the office. No waiting period is required between the issuance of the license and the marriage, but the license will expire after 60 days if not used.
Locally, licenses can be obtained in the office of the clerk of the circuit court between 8 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday.
