It’s no surprise to me one of the least competently managed NFL franchises drafted Shedeur Sanders. The Cleveland Browns – not the REAL Cleveland Browns in MY heart and mind – made the Colorado Buffaloes quarterback the 144th pick in the 2025 NFL draft two Saturdays ago.
Roger Grossman made great points about Sanders’s dad, Coach Prime, but I’m taking a moment to twist on this take, and have an evil, twisted laugh about Sanders’s draft day that dragged into draft weekend.
Thursday night, April 24, somewhere in Texas there was a gala setup with gaudy signage reading “LEGENDARY” as the 2025 NFL draft launched. The evening finished with this big party and the hype around it further fueled by ESPN’s on-site coverage, but the big event was missing the big event it was there to cover: a phone call from one of 32 NFL franchises telling Sanders he was a first-round draft pick for their team.
Have you even seen commercials where they use images and noises to illustrate a lame party?
I could picture a well-timed image, focusing on someone sitting hunched forward with one of those party noisemakers emitting a feeble squeak while the inflatable paper extension rolled out, say, halfway.
O.K., maybe missing the first round was not a shock, and roasting Sanders would have been “too soon” in the comedy/joke world.
Friday, however, Sanders and his big hat, no cattle event would have deserved the red meat treatment I wish someone had the nerve to give it.
My twist, however, would have been day 3, Saturday April 26, when – although it’s not likely this happened – a camera could have been on site to film or click a big spread of shrimp on melted ice, likely brought out for the third day in a row for whomever stayed around, and show how discolored it was
When Sanders’s name was called, that feeble party noisemaker squeak I mentioned? Maybe one of those shrimp-contaminating flies could have landed on that party-goer’s forehead.
Apropos.
If hubris needed an accompanying image in Webster’s Dictionary, a picture of that party would have been perfect.
Good ol’ Pops made “don’t draft me” noise for several teams, and the NFL collective of franchises paid heed.
Thanks, Deion, for the tip.
Does this mean Sanders is a draft day bust? No, but the hubris leading up to it and the “Worldwide Leader’s” on site coverage were not the makings of a good launch into professional sports for Shedeur Sanders.
The Browns, who’ve turned doubling down on stupidity into an art form, might be able to develop Sanders, giving the young man the last laugh.
I say that, but remember I am the guy who calls the Baltimore Ravens the “Real Browns.”
People hated Art Modell, the Browns owner when the franchise departed Cleveland after the 1995 NFL season (bound for Baltimore) because he was a billionaire asking for municipal welfare. People hated Modell after this move, and shirts, posters, and flags with “(expletive) Art” were ubiquitous.
Look, NFL franchises looking for their local governments to fund their opulent stadiums is not something Modell invented.
My family winces when I answer “yes” to their question, “Do you still like the Ravens?”
I like Cleveland’s loyal-to-a-fault fans, though, and I love Cleveland – the city where I was born. I’m also an Ohio State football and wrestling fan.
The Browns, though, are like some of those childhood friends with whom you shared indelible memories, but they know better than to “come around.”