I was going to begin this column by saying I have no idea what to write about this week, but I then remembered I had just spent the last two hours looking at fantasy football posts on Reddit.
So let's talk about the most frustrating game in the world.
For those who are unfamiliar, fantasy football is a simple, sometimes rewarding, but mostly infuriating virtual football game based on real NFL events. You start out by having a draft before the season starts, where you and other members of your league (usually ranging from eight to 12 teams) take turns selecting the top NFL players in hopes of assembling a superteam. Most formats have a quarterback, two running backs, two receivers, a tight end, a “flex”, a team defense and a kicker. You draft all of these positions and extra players to fill out your bench.
Each week you set your lineup and put in the guys you feel will have a good week in the real world in hopes of scoring more points than your opponent and their team. It’s pretty simple from here. The more yards a player can rack up, the better. Touchdowns are very good. The usual stuff.
It might sound simple, it might sound like rocket science. Truthfully, it’s somewhere in between, and that’s what makes it so maddening.
You can spend your entire week analyzing matchups, switching players in and out of your lineup and agonizing about what makes sense for any given Sunday. But then, all you can do is sit back and watch the games, hoping it goes your way.
This week, things went in my favor. If you remember last year, I mentioned a matchup against my good friend Steve that came down to a Monday night game involving the 49ers. This past weekend, we matched up once again, with the outcome being determined by the Niners-Cowboys game on Sunday night. He had a big lead on me, and I needed Christian McCaffrey and George Kittle to have big nights. McCaffrey was quiet compared to his usual standards, but Kittle, who had not caught a touchdown pass yet this season, caught three in the game, helping me snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Sorry again, Steve.
The victory was a relief for me, as I had taken a very large lead on Thursday night thanks to DJ Moore’s huge night in Washington. To have blown that lead would have been a devastating loss that could have spiraled me out of control and tanked my season, just like in the pros. (See? It is real)
There are plenty of other highs and lows throughout the many years I’ve played that I could get into right now, but truthfully, I don’t think there’s enough room in the sports section to cover it all.
The only other point I want to make about fantasy football is that even with all of the headaches it can bring, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s helped me stay close with friends I don’t live near anymore and has helped me make new ones. Shoot, I’m in one fantasy league with nine other guys, and I’ve only met four in person, but I consider them all to be my friends. Shout out to the Koechner’s Kids group chat!
Not too bad of an intro for someone with some bad writer’s block on this chilly Monday. Let’s see if I can’t think of some quick hitters before we begin.
After 347 long and difficult days, the Chicago Bears finally got back into the win column on Thursday night. To say I’ve woken up with a little extra pep in my step every day since would be an understatement.
My Missouri Tigers are sadly no longer undefeated after losing a heartbreaker to LSU at home on Saturday. I don’t think I’ve been that down about a loss since the Double Doink.
The weather has changed in a hurry and so has my wellbeing. I’ve been so stuffy for a week and it’s driving me crazy. At least it’s good weather to start watching some scary movies.
The column remains undefeated after five Sundays, as I covered last week’s 14 games with some room to spare. The pressure remains on, but I’ve answered the call each time. Bring. It. On.
THURSDAY NIGHT
Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs (-10.5)
Patrick Mahomes has literally never lost to the Broncos. I promise that’s not hyperbole. It just hasn’t happened. I have a hard time believing this is the Denver team that’s going to do it, as Russell Wilson and company have looked just as bad as last year’s edition, if not worse. While the Chiefs haven’t necessarily wowed me so far this year, I still think these two sides are operating in different stratospheres. If there was ever a perfect opportunity for Kansas City to get that offense humming, it’s right here. Travis Kelce’s availability will be worth noting.
The Pick: Chiefs -10.5
ACROSS THE POND
Baltimore Ravens (-4) at Tennessee Titans
The Ravens have to be kicking themselves after last week, blowing a lead they held over the Steelers for nearly the entire game because of missed opportunities and sloppy play. The Titans lost to the Colts for the first time in over 1,000 days, and didn’t look great doing so. Tennessee has put together some surprising performances this season, but all have been at home. I don’t know how the team fares traveling to a new continent. I trust Baltimore more, but the London games are always funky. This could be an interesting one.
The Pick: Ravens -4
1 O’CLOCK SUNDAY
Indianapolis Colts at Jacksonville Jaguars (-4)
We need to have a talk about Anthony Richardson. He’s looked so impressive at times in his rookie season, but has exited three of his four games early due to injury. He’s going to miss “some time” according to the team, which usually means at least one week. Gardner Minshew has done very well as AR’s backup, so I don’t think all hope is lost here. The Jaguars are returning to the states after two weeks (and two wins) in London. Jacksonville has owned this matchup when they play at home, and with an extra week to prepare for Minshew as opposed to him being thrown in, I think the Jags make it three wins in a row.
The Pick: Jaguars -4
Minnesota Vikings (-2.5) at Chicago Bears
Minnesota suffered a big loss on Sunday, not just on the field. Star receiver Justin Jefferson suffered a hamstring injury and is going to be placed on IR, meaning he will be out for at least four games. It’s just another blow in what has been a disappointing year for the Vikings. It’s about to get a whole lot worse up in Minnesota, as the Bears team they are facing off against has been playing much better over the past few weeks, scoring 40 points on Thursday night for their first win in nearly a year. I’m not saying this team is going to turn it around overnight, but the one win is going to do wonders for Justin Fields and company’s confidence. Let’s go for two in a row, boys.
The Pick: Bears +2.5
San Francisco 49ers (-6.5) at Cleveland Browns
Is there any team in football more impressive than the 49ers? The short answer is no. They have the best linebacker in the league in Fred Warner. They have the best offensive lineman on the planet in Trent Williams. Brock Purdy reads defenses like he’s been in the league for 10 years and has so many weapons to get the ball to. This is the most fun team to watch in the sport right now and you should be tuning in every week. The Browns possess the best defense San Fran will have faced thus far this season, and I say that because of how easy they made it look against the Cowboys. Cleveland’s offense has left much to be desired, and Deshaun Watson still wasn’t practicing earlier in the week with a shoulder injury he suffered before the bye. I think the Browns are a solid football team. Until I see the Niners look mortal, there’s no chance I’m picking against them.
The Pick: 49ers -6.5
Washington Commanders at Atlanta Falcons (-2.5)
Here’s something you might have heard this week: Falcons QB Desmond Ridder is undefeated (31-0) at home in college and the pros. Pretty impressive. He had a nice day passing the ball in a comeback win over the Texans last weekend, while the Commanders laid an egg against the Bears last Thursday. Atlanta is so puzzling to me, as they have the weapons on offense and are winning games, yet aren’t exactly doing in the most dazzling way. I really like Sam Howell at QB for Washington and while the Commies secondary has a lot to work on, I’m not sure Ridder will take advantage.
The Pick: Commanders +2.5
New Orleans Saints (-1.5) at Houston Texans
Rookie quarterback CJ Stroud set a record last week for the most pass attempts without an interception to start a career. He’ll extend that streak some this week, but I think it’s finally ended by the stout Saints defense on Sunday. Offensively, New Orleans hadn’t done much of note until last week against a lifeless Patriots team, but were aided by a lot of turnovers in plus territory to make it easy to score the 34 points they ended up with. Still, even if the Saints can score 17-20, I think the defense can have a big enough day to make it happen for them. I really like what Stroud and Houston is doing this season, but this is going to be a big test.
The Pick: Saints -1.5
Carolina Panthers at Miami Dolphins (-13.5)
After having to face off against a very good Detroit Lions offense last week, the winless Panthers are rewarded by getting to go through the buzzsaw that is the Miami O. The Dolphins will be without rookie running back De’Von Achane, who has set the league on fire in limited time but suffered a knee injury on Sunday. Still, Miami has more than enough firepower to make up for his absence. While the Panthers were able to find something with Bryce Young putting together some good drives at the end of last week’s game, it didn’t mean much in affecting the game’s outcome. I’m expecting more of the same here.
The Pick: Dolphins -13.5
Seattle Seahawks at Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
The Seahawks had the week off last week to prepare for the Bengals, who finally looked like the team we expected to see last week against Arizona, with Joe Burrow looking the healthiest he’s been all year in a great performance. I expected Seattle to take a dip after a good year last year, but they’ve looked very solid through four games once again, winning their last three. Will they be able to stop Cincy’s momentum in its tracks? I think this’ll be a good game that comes down to the end. Give me the Hawks in an upset here.
(This one is going to bite me. I like waaaaay too many favorites this week and am overthinking on this one.)
The Pick: Seahawks +3
LATE AFTERNOON SLATE
New England Patriots at Las Vegas Raiders (-3)
Over the past two weeks, you’re going to have a hard time finding a worse team in football than the Patriots. New England followed up an abysmal showing at Dallas two weeks ago by getting shut out 34-0 at home to the Saints. Jimmy Garoppolo looked alright in his return in Monday night’s win against Green Bay, but one thing that’s certain is I’d rather have him quarterbacking my team than Mac Jones. Nothing is working for Bill Belichick and his team.
The Pick: Raiders -3
Arizona Cardinals at Los Angeles Rams (-7)
Both teams in this matchup failed to cover in losses to Cleveland and Philadelphia. The Rams have had the Cardinals’ number over the past couple of seasons and without James Conner in the backfield it’s going to be tough for Arizona to keep this one close. I have to give first-year head coach Jonathan Gannon credit though, his team has fought hard in every single game this season despite being expected to be one of the worst teams in football. They’ll fight in this one, but I’m not sure it’ll be enough.
The Pick: Rams -7
Detroit Lions (-3) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Lions are firing on all cylinders and look like one of the best teams in the NFC. The Bucs are one of the surprises of the year and are coming off of a bye week after a great win in New Orleans the week prior. Tampa’s defense has quietly been one of the better units in the league, and has been for a few years now. I think they can make life tough enough on Jared Goff to pull off the upset here. This will probably end up being the best game of the afternoon, so tune in if you can.
The Pick: Buccaneers +3
Philadelphia Eagles (-7) at New York Jets
The Eagles are rounding into form and are starting to once again look like the team that represented the NFC in last year’s Super Bowl. The Jets and Zach Wilson have looked much improved over the past few weeks, so maybe all of the doom and gloom from earlier in the year was a little much. Breece Hall has looked incredible since returning from last year’s injury and the defensive line the Eagles possess will be a huge test for him. Philly has gotten it rolling over the past few weeks and I have a hard time seeing the Jets as the team that slows them down. Give me the Birds.
The Pick: Eagles -7
WAITIN’ ALL DAY FOR A SUNDAY NIGHT
New York Giants at Buffalo Bills (-14)
Once again, the Giants are playing on Sunday night and once again, I can’t imagine it going that well. However, the Bills defense has lost a lot of pieces over the past few weeks and is definitely vulnerable if Saquon Barkley can come back and make a difference. 14 points is a lot of points but the Giants have not had a problem losing by that much before this season. Plus Daniel Jones left last week’s game with a neck injury and even if he comes back, is that really the right call? I just can’t trust this Giants team at all.
The Pick: Bills -14
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
Dallas Cowboys (-2.5) at Los Angeles Chargers
There’s been a lot of talk about the Dallas Cowboys this week after Dak Prescott and company laid another egg in a big spot against the Niners on Sunday night. Dallas being favored in this game despite that poor performance is probably a good sign moving forward, but I’m not sure if I like them in this game. The Chargers had an extra week to prepare for this game and will most likely be getting Austin Ekeler back from injury. I know the Cowboys are going to come into this one angry but I think the LA offense will give them enough problems for it not to matter much.
The Pick: Chargers +2.5
On bye week: Packers, Steelers
Definitely riding the favorites train this week. We’ve reached that point a third of the way through the season where I’m pretty sure I know who’s good, but I’m sure there are a few pretenders still lurking out there. We hope for the best.
Cheers.
Last Week’s Record: 8-5-1
Season Record: 47-29-2