The Penalty Box: If I Were King Of Sports—Silly Edition
August 2, 2022 at 10:33 p.m.
The Penalty Box: If I Were King Of Sports—Silly Edition
By Roger Grossman-
What would happen if I were simultaneously named the commissioner of the four major American professional sports leagues, the NCAA and Indiana High School sports?
And today feels like a good time to have a little fun with it.
So, here are some not-to-serious changes I would make if I were sitting on the throne of the kingdom of sports.
Basketball power plays.
I think that when a team gets to 10 team fouls in a half in high school and men’s college basketball, their opponents should have the option of getting two free throws like they do now or making the fouling team play with only four players for 60 seconds.
The fouling team would get to choose which player on the floor would serve the penalty, and they would do so while sitting at the scorer’s table. When the 60 seconds is up, the player runs back onto the floor from the scorer’s table immediately.
It would only happen once per half per team, but maybe it would encourage teams to quit fouling.
Accumulating foul balls into strikes.
If you want to speed up baseball games and get them under 2-and-a-half hours, excessive amounts of foul balls would be an easy place to start.
An at-bat would be the same as it is now, but would change when it got to two strikes. With two strikes, a batter is allowed two foul balls at no charge. The next foul ball would be the same as a swing-and-miss—the batter would be out.
It’s not the pitcher’s fault that the batter can’t hit his pitches into fair territory. Don’t punish him for it.
The extra extra point.
If we are going to continue to endure kickoffs in football, then let’s put something on it.
After a team scores a touchdown or a field goal, if their kicker can kick the kickoff through the uprights, give his team another point.
Net changes in volleyball.
I love to watch good volleyball. Two evenly matched teams can provide as much or more drama than any sport around.
But I’d like to spice it up even more.
What if, instead of a net that the players can see through, we had a net made of parachute material? What if it was made of burlap?
Your team would serve the ball, and you’d only be able to see the other team’s legs moving from side-to-side and would have no idea where the ball was until it showed up above the net.
Tennis mercy rule.
Professional tennis needs a mercy rule.
In a men’s five-set match, if you don’t win more than 3 games in the first two sets, you don’t deserve to play in a third.
Yes, I know, a player is never out of match until the match point is won by the winner. But we need to see some evidence that a comeback is possible. If you lose the first two sets 6-0, 6-0—your chances of coming back are nil and you’re wasting everyone’s time by being on the court any longer.
For a women’s match, since they only play two-out-of-three sets to start with, I would set the rule that if you lose the first set with only one game to your credit and are down at 3-0 in the second—you’re done.
Here are some other possible additions to sports that could spice them up a little.
Donuts and the pole vault: a donut could be balanced on the bar of the pole vault. If the vaulter can clear the bar and grab the donut on the way by, they get 3 extra points.
Javelin: We all have seen the javelin throw—mostly in the Olympics. What if we made the javelin with a rubber tip and we have someone on the other end catching it? Call it “team javelin”. You get extra distance for catching it and distance deducted if you don’t.
Same thing for shot put and discus. I would never consider doing away with those events, but what if we added a one-handed watermelon toss to it?
Just me thinking out loud.
What would happen if I were simultaneously named the commissioner of the four major American professional sports leagues, the NCAA and Indiana High School sports?
And today feels like a good time to have a little fun with it.
So, here are some not-to-serious changes I would make if I were sitting on the throne of the kingdom of sports.
Basketball power plays.
I think that when a team gets to 10 team fouls in a half in high school and men’s college basketball, their opponents should have the option of getting two free throws like they do now or making the fouling team play with only four players for 60 seconds.
The fouling team would get to choose which player on the floor would serve the penalty, and they would do so while sitting at the scorer’s table. When the 60 seconds is up, the player runs back onto the floor from the scorer’s table immediately.
It would only happen once per half per team, but maybe it would encourage teams to quit fouling.
Accumulating foul balls into strikes.
If you want to speed up baseball games and get them under 2-and-a-half hours, excessive amounts of foul balls would be an easy place to start.
An at-bat would be the same as it is now, but would change when it got to two strikes. With two strikes, a batter is allowed two foul balls at no charge. The next foul ball would be the same as a swing-and-miss—the batter would be out.
It’s not the pitcher’s fault that the batter can’t hit his pitches into fair territory. Don’t punish him for it.
The extra extra point.
If we are going to continue to endure kickoffs in football, then let’s put something on it.
After a team scores a touchdown or a field goal, if their kicker can kick the kickoff through the uprights, give his team another point.
Net changes in volleyball.
I love to watch good volleyball. Two evenly matched teams can provide as much or more drama than any sport around.
But I’d like to spice it up even more.
What if, instead of a net that the players can see through, we had a net made of parachute material? What if it was made of burlap?
Your team would serve the ball, and you’d only be able to see the other team’s legs moving from side-to-side and would have no idea where the ball was until it showed up above the net.
Tennis mercy rule.
Professional tennis needs a mercy rule.
In a men’s five-set match, if you don’t win more than 3 games in the first two sets, you don’t deserve to play in a third.
Yes, I know, a player is never out of match until the match point is won by the winner. But we need to see some evidence that a comeback is possible. If you lose the first two sets 6-0, 6-0—your chances of coming back are nil and you’re wasting everyone’s time by being on the court any longer.
For a women’s match, since they only play two-out-of-three sets to start with, I would set the rule that if you lose the first set with only one game to your credit and are down at 3-0 in the second—you’re done.
Here are some other possible additions to sports that could spice them up a little.
Donuts and the pole vault: a donut could be balanced on the bar of the pole vault. If the vaulter can clear the bar and grab the donut on the way by, they get 3 extra points.
Javelin: We all have seen the javelin throw—mostly in the Olympics. What if we made the javelin with a rubber tip and we have someone on the other end catching it? Call it “team javelin”. You get extra distance for catching it and distance deducted if you don’t.
Same thing for shot put and discus. I would never consider doing away with those events, but what if we added a one-handed watermelon toss to it?
Just me thinking out loud.
Have a news tip? Email info@whitewaterpublications.com or Call/Text 360-922-3092
e-Edition
Local Events