Old-Fashioned Ideas – Are They Antiquated?
June 24, 2019 at 7:32 p.m.
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While I have this rare opportunity I have decided to provide my random thoughts on raising children, words to live by, manners, marriage, and my overall impression on growing old. I've been told on more than one occasion that my ideas are out of fashion in today's world–what do you think?
Raising Children
I have a number of "words to live by" when it comes to raising children. Those words or phrases include: "Please," Thank You," "I'm Sorry," "I Love You" and "How Can I Help?" I firmly believe that each phrase instills the character and maturity we should expect from them and they should be taught accordingly. It begins the process of learning good manners. These phrases, of course, are applicable to adults, too, and central to many social interactions.
"Thank you," or the acknowledgement of a gracious act, is paramount, and when the child is old enough, best expressed in writing. The gesture of sending thank-you notes has become a lost art. At the appropriate age, parents should insist their children understand that a kind act or gift should be reciprocated.
One of my relatives refuses to send a second gift to any grandchild who fails to send a sincere thank you following the first one. She also notifies the parents of her intent and displeasure. Good advice.
To help, parents should provide their children who have learned to write with a box of thank-you notes with instructions on their composition. Thank-you notes are one of the indicators of a civil society.
Gifts are not obligatory. Some people believe that a mere "thank you," phone call or quick email would suffice, I disagree. When I retired years ago, I sent personalized thank-you notes to everyone that attended and paid for the dinner. I was particularly appreciative of individuals who arranged my party, and expressed those thoughts to each of them. Emails or other social media are no substitute for a hand-written message. My other favorite phrases are self explanatory. How can I help?–is not used often enough.
Parents of young children may wish to purchase "How to Speak Politely and Why" by Munro Leaf. He has written an excellent series of books designed for raising children.
Words To Live By
I have always been fascinated by witticisms, aphorisms or adages that help us live a better life. Many are included in Alice Cary's poem “Nobility.” I believe it is worth reading to children.
One aphorism I frequently refer to was written by Albert Pine long ago. It is as follows: "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."
Manners
It may be my imagination, but I have the overall impression that today's baby boomers, millennials, generations X, Y and Z have lost respect or veneration for their elders.
This is not the case in Asia or in what I expect from highly civilized societies. Religions insist on it. How often do you hear an older person addressed as "Mr." or "Mrs.", or use of "Sir" by younger people? (I have been told that today these titles are superficial.)
I also believe that young or even middle-aged individuals should seek advice when needed and thereby learn from someone who has been around a while. I understand that the adage "With age comes wisdom, but sometimes it comes alone" may apply, but there is no harm in asking. If nothing else, it will make the older person feel rewarded.
Marriage
My suggestion for one of the gifts to newly married couples is two punch cards with space to record a kind gesture by the bride and groom. The instructions are to punch the card following each thoughtful act done for your spouse. Each should try to be the first to reach 20 and then start a new card. Make it a game rather than competition and each individual will reap the benefits. Above all be generous.
I tell my grandchildren that a successful marriage requires compromise, commitment, communication and cooperation. Respect for each other and humility doesn't hurt. Speak to couples who have shared a life time together for advice–life is a continuous learning process.
Final Thoughts
While I have the opportunity I would like to thank my editor and most of all my readers, especially those who have taken the time to write me with suggestions. I am not to too old to learn from you.
Max Sherman is a medical writer and pharmacist retired from the medical device industry. He has taught college courses on regulatory and compliance issues at Ivy Tech, Grace College and Butler University. Sherman has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge on all levels.
Eclectic Science, the title of his column, touches on famed doctors and scientists, human senses, aging, various diseases, and little-known facts about many species, including their contributions to scientific research. He can be reached by email at [email protected].
While I have this rare opportunity I have decided to provide my random thoughts on raising children, words to live by, manners, marriage, and my overall impression on growing old. I've been told on more than one occasion that my ideas are out of fashion in today's world–what do you think?
Raising Children
I have a number of "words to live by" when it comes to raising children. Those words or phrases include: "Please," Thank You," "I'm Sorry," "I Love You" and "How Can I Help?" I firmly believe that each phrase instills the character and maturity we should expect from them and they should be taught accordingly. It begins the process of learning good manners. These phrases, of course, are applicable to adults, too, and central to many social interactions.
"Thank you," or the acknowledgement of a gracious act, is paramount, and when the child is old enough, best expressed in writing. The gesture of sending thank-you notes has become a lost art. At the appropriate age, parents should insist their children understand that a kind act or gift should be reciprocated.
One of my relatives refuses to send a second gift to any grandchild who fails to send a sincere thank you following the first one. She also notifies the parents of her intent and displeasure. Good advice.
To help, parents should provide their children who have learned to write with a box of thank-you notes with instructions on their composition. Thank-you notes are one of the indicators of a civil society.
Gifts are not obligatory. Some people believe that a mere "thank you," phone call or quick email would suffice, I disagree. When I retired years ago, I sent personalized thank-you notes to everyone that attended and paid for the dinner. I was particularly appreciative of individuals who arranged my party, and expressed those thoughts to each of them. Emails or other social media are no substitute for a hand-written message. My other favorite phrases are self explanatory. How can I help?–is not used often enough.
Parents of young children may wish to purchase "How to Speak Politely and Why" by Munro Leaf. He has written an excellent series of books designed for raising children.
Words To Live By
I have always been fascinated by witticisms, aphorisms or adages that help us live a better life. Many are included in Alice Cary's poem “Nobility.” I believe it is worth reading to children.
One aphorism I frequently refer to was written by Albert Pine long ago. It is as follows: "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."
Manners
It may be my imagination, but I have the overall impression that today's baby boomers, millennials, generations X, Y and Z have lost respect or veneration for their elders.
This is not the case in Asia or in what I expect from highly civilized societies. Religions insist on it. How often do you hear an older person addressed as "Mr." or "Mrs.", or use of "Sir" by younger people? (I have been told that today these titles are superficial.)
I also believe that young or even middle-aged individuals should seek advice when needed and thereby learn from someone who has been around a while. I understand that the adage "With age comes wisdom, but sometimes it comes alone" may apply, but there is no harm in asking. If nothing else, it will make the older person feel rewarded.
Marriage
My suggestion for one of the gifts to newly married couples is two punch cards with space to record a kind gesture by the bride and groom. The instructions are to punch the card following each thoughtful act done for your spouse. Each should try to be the first to reach 20 and then start a new card. Make it a game rather than competition and each individual will reap the benefits. Above all be generous.
I tell my grandchildren that a successful marriage requires compromise, commitment, communication and cooperation. Respect for each other and humility doesn't hurt. Speak to couples who have shared a life time together for advice–life is a continuous learning process.
Final Thoughts
While I have the opportunity I would like to thank my editor and most of all my readers, especially those who have taken the time to write me with suggestions. I am not to too old to learn from you.
Max Sherman is a medical writer and pharmacist retired from the medical device industry. He has taught college courses on regulatory and compliance issues at Ivy Tech, Grace College and Butler University. Sherman has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge on all levels.
Eclectic Science, the title of his column, touches on famed doctors and scientists, human senses, aging, various diseases, and little-known facts about many species, including their contributions to scientific research. He can be reached by email at [email protected].
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