Young Mother Recounts Abuse By Boyfriend
July 28, 2016 at 4:25 p.m.
By Jennifer [email protected]
It was three years ago that Sarah was a victim of domestic violence at the hands of her ex-husband.[[In-content Ad]]Sarah, 22, Warsaw, has found the strength to receive training to become a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children. This training will allow her to provide a voice for children who are in abusive homes as she and her child were.
Three years ago Sarah was dating a high school friend, and became pregnant at age 19 with his child. She was a freshman in college, and her boyfriend was a year older.
"At first our relationship started out great. I would go to see his band, and we went on trips and he would spend a lot of money on me and make me think I needed him," Sarah said.
When they became engaged she lived with him and his parents, and they eventually got a house together.
They dated for six months before she got pregnant, and then they got engaged. They married in 2008, and she gave birth three months later when she was 20.
"We started getting in a lot more fights when I was pregnant, and he cornered and grabbed me and yelled in my face," Sarah said.
She said he made her walk home in the snow when she was four months pregnant after they had a fight in the car.
He started becoming controlling, and she was not allowed to see her family except on weekends when he worked. She had a curfew of when she was supposed to be home. She also had limited time to see her friends.
"He went through my phone and was controlling with my phone calls and verbally abused me and put me down," Sarah said.
The night she left him was the first night and last he physically abused her when her son was an infant.
The fight started because he wanted her to go back to work five weeks after she gave birth.
She said she had a birth that was hard on her body. She was still recovering and she was willing to go back part time, but her husband wanted her to go back full time.
"From our yelling my son woke up, and I wanted my husband to stop yelling at me and I was sitting on the bed with my son and my husband slapped me across the face," Sarah said.
Her husband slapped her so hard she dropped her son onto the bed.
She said he told her if she hadn't yelled at him and wasn't lazy he wouldn't have hit her.
She put her son in his infant carrier and was ready to escape, but her husband took her keys so she couldn't leave.
She didn't go anywhere that night because he took her keys and smashed her cell phone so she could not call anyone. He apologized and said not to tell anyone what happened.
When she was slapped across the face her blood vessels popped under her eye, and she had a black eye and had popped blood vessels by her cheek bone.
Her husband didn't work during the week and he didn't allow her to see her parents until the weekend, so it wasn't unusual that she hadn't contacted her parents.
Four days later her husband got called into work and that was when she knew she could escape with her child.
He threatened her that she needed to stay at home and said she better be there when he got back from work.
She didn't have a car, so the instant he was gone she took her son and walked two miles to her parents' home.
She told her mom what had happened and called the police.
The police went to their home and he admitted to the police he had hit her and a police report was filed. She pressed charges and a restraining order was put on her husband.
Through the help of Warsaw Police Department's Victims Service Center, she was referred to stay at Beaman Home, a shelter for women and children.
She and her son then lived with a family friend for three months until she got an apartment where she has lived for two years.
There was a trial before the divorce in 2008. He received two years of community service, and was required to take anger management and parenting classes.
She filed for divorce a month after the physical abuse in 2008 and the divorce was finalized a year later.
Sarah is currently a full-time mother of her 2-year-old son and works part time on the weekends.
She underwent counseling for eight months and stopped going to counseling in June. She is on the path of recovery.
She has been dating someone for the past four months, a friend she got reacquainted with and who gets along well with her son.
Her ex-husband is allowed to see her son and the restraining order was lifted when the divorce was finalized.
Her ex-husband sees their son twice a week, and she is working on weekends and cares for her child during the week.
She plans on going back to college in January and wants to go to school for counseling and criminal justice.
Sarah has completed a month and a half of training to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children and she will graduate from the program this week. That will allow her to provide a voice for children who live in homes where abuse, neglect and drug and alcohol situations are present.
For help or more information, whether a person is a victim of domestic violence or knows someone who is, contact Becky Anglin, WPD victim assistance coordinator, at 574-372-9539 or e-mail [email protected]
It was three years ago that Sarah was a victim of domestic violence at the hands of her ex-husband.[[In-content Ad]]Sarah, 22, Warsaw, has found the strength to receive training to become a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children. This training will allow her to provide a voice for children who are in abusive homes as she and her child were.
Three years ago Sarah was dating a high school friend, and became pregnant at age 19 with his child. She was a freshman in college, and her boyfriend was a year older.
"At first our relationship started out great. I would go to see his band, and we went on trips and he would spend a lot of money on me and make me think I needed him," Sarah said.
When they became engaged she lived with him and his parents, and they eventually got a house together.
They dated for six months before she got pregnant, and then they got engaged. They married in 2008, and she gave birth three months later when she was 20.
"We started getting in a lot more fights when I was pregnant, and he cornered and grabbed me and yelled in my face," Sarah said.
She said he made her walk home in the snow when she was four months pregnant after they had a fight in the car.
He started becoming controlling, and she was not allowed to see her family except on weekends when he worked. She had a curfew of when she was supposed to be home. She also had limited time to see her friends.
"He went through my phone and was controlling with my phone calls and verbally abused me and put me down," Sarah said.
The night she left him was the first night and last he physically abused her when her son was an infant.
The fight started because he wanted her to go back to work five weeks after she gave birth.
She said she had a birth that was hard on her body. She was still recovering and she was willing to go back part time, but her husband wanted her to go back full time.
"From our yelling my son woke up, and I wanted my husband to stop yelling at me and I was sitting on the bed with my son and my husband slapped me across the face," Sarah said.
Her husband slapped her so hard she dropped her son onto the bed.
She said he told her if she hadn't yelled at him and wasn't lazy he wouldn't have hit her.
She put her son in his infant carrier and was ready to escape, but her husband took her keys so she couldn't leave.
She didn't go anywhere that night because he took her keys and smashed her cell phone so she could not call anyone. He apologized and said not to tell anyone what happened.
When she was slapped across the face her blood vessels popped under her eye, and she had a black eye and had popped blood vessels by her cheek bone.
Her husband didn't work during the week and he didn't allow her to see her parents until the weekend, so it wasn't unusual that she hadn't contacted her parents.
Four days later her husband got called into work and that was when she knew she could escape with her child.
He threatened her that she needed to stay at home and said she better be there when he got back from work.
She didn't have a car, so the instant he was gone she took her son and walked two miles to her parents' home.
She told her mom what had happened and called the police.
The police went to their home and he admitted to the police he had hit her and a police report was filed. She pressed charges and a restraining order was put on her husband.
Through the help of Warsaw Police Department's Victims Service Center, she was referred to stay at Beaman Home, a shelter for women and children.
She and her son then lived with a family friend for three months until she got an apartment where she has lived for two years.
There was a trial before the divorce in 2008. He received two years of community service, and was required to take anger management and parenting classes.
She filed for divorce a month after the physical abuse in 2008 and the divorce was finalized a year later.
Sarah is currently a full-time mother of her 2-year-old son and works part time on the weekends.
She underwent counseling for eight months and stopped going to counseling in June. She is on the path of recovery.
She has been dating someone for the past four months, a friend she got reacquainted with and who gets along well with her son.
Her ex-husband is allowed to see her son and the restraining order was lifted when the divorce was finalized.
Her ex-husband sees their son twice a week, and she is working on weekends and cares for her child during the week.
She plans on going back to college in January and wants to go to school for counseling and criminal justice.
Sarah has completed a month and a half of training to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children and she will graduate from the program this week. That will allow her to provide a voice for children who live in homes where abuse, neglect and drug and alcohol situations are present.
For help or more information, whether a person is a victim of domestic violence or knows someone who is, contact Becky Anglin, WPD victim assistance coordinator, at 574-372-9539 or e-mail [email protected]
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