I hate it when teenagers die or ruin their lives over booze.

It seems so unnecessary and preventable.

But it happened again last weekend. A 19-year-old victim this time. His friend, another 19-year-old, facing prison.

It would be easy to write about pointing fingers or argue about who is to blame or who needs to be arrested and who doesn't.

My guess is that everybody who needs to be held accountable will be. I am fairly confident about that.

But what about the future?

As a community, what is our view of last weekend's tragedy? Is it acceptable to us?

Do we just shrug our shoulders and resolve ourselves to the notion that every other year or so a teenager will die in a drunk driving accident?

Or is it time we get proactive and take some positive steps?

I think parents need to take control. School officials need to crack down. There have been rumors for years about parents, cops and school officials looking the other way when certain teens drink.

I hear parents say, "I'd rather have them drinking under my roof than out driving around." Yeah. Maybe. If they STAY under your roof.

Following is a list of things parents, employers and community leaders can do.

I say, let's do them.

In The Home

• Set a good example for your children regarding the use of alcohol.

• Encourage your children to talk with you about their problems and concerns.

• Get to know your children's friends and discuss ways your children can avoid drinking when they are feeling pressured by peers.

• Talk to other parents about ways to send a consistent, clear message that underage drinking is not acceptable behavior or a "rite of passage."

• Encourage your children to participate in supervised activities and events that are challenging, fun and alcohol- free.

• Learn the warning signs that indicate your children may be drinking and act promptly to talk to them.

• Make sure you're at home for all your children's parties and be sure those parties are alcohol-free.

• And if you ever find teenagers drinking anywhere, anytime, take their keys. Do not let them get behind the wheel of a car.

• If your kid is ever in a situation where a drunk driver the only option for a ride, have a no-questions-asked policy for getting them home. That means they can call you and you will drive to wherever they are - anytime - and give them a ride home. No questions. No lectures. No punishment. Just a safe ride home. Then discuss the incident in a calm and rational manner the next day.

In The Community

If you own or manage a business in your community, take these steps:

• Identify specific programs offered to employees and families through the workplace that address alcohol use prevention.

• Learn about community programs that address alcohol use prevention and how you can get involved.

• Support efforts taken in your community to limit underage drinking.

• Support schools and agencies providing positive experiences and opportunities for youth.

Community Leaders

• Know what regulations your state, county or city has to restrict the commercial availability of alcohol to underage youth. Ensure that they are effectively enforced.

• Know what regulations your state, county or city has to restrict the non-commercial availability of alcohol to underage youth. Ensure that they are effectively enforced.

• Know what regulations your state, county or city has to prevent youth possession of alcohol. Ensure that they are effectively enforced.

• Promote collaboration among the members of the educational systems, business sector, government and law enforcement agencies in your state, county or city to develop and enforce policies and prevention programs related to youth alcohol use.

Finally, I think this community should strongly consider starting a Safe Homes program.

The program encourages parents to take a stand against the use of drugs and alcohol by minors. It outlines ways for parents to be in charge of and aware of their children's activities, both in and out of the home. It suggests specific guidelines by which children's social activities may be planned and supervised so that drug and alcohol use is avoided.

Raising children, especially teenagers, is not easy. But parental caring and supervision do make a difference.

Safe Homes promotes consistency and continuity of rules and policies governing the behavior of teenagers. It provides parents with a support network of other parents.

Here's how it works.

Parents who want to be recognized as having Safe Homes make two simple pledges.

1. I will not allow parties or gatherings of young people in my home when I'm not there.

2. I will not serve nor will I allow minor guests to consume alcohol or use illegal drugs in my home or on my property.

Households that take the pledge are termed Safe Homes - homes where your kids can go where you will be sure a parent is in attendance and where drugs and alcohol are prohibited.

Everybody who takes the pledge is put on a list. Everybody who takes the pledge gets the list - a parental network of Safe Homes, so to speak.

Safe Homes parents are urged to use the network and call each other. The list also could be posted on a Web site and updated.

If your child is invited to a party, check the list. If that home isn't on the list, call the parents and ask them to get on the list.

After a while, parents get a sense for who is and isn't on the list and there is actually a little adult peer pressure.

Do you want to be the parent who isn't on the list?

If you want information about the Safe Homes program, type "safe homes" in your favorite Internet search engine and do an exact phrase search.

There are dozens of sites showing what other communities are doing. There are guidelines and pledge forms - pretty much everything someone would need to get the ball rolling.

I am not naive. I know that no matter how many programs you institute, no matter how many laws you pass, no matter how hard you try, some kid will fall through the cracks.

But we are the adults. We are in control.

Sometimes it does seems as if there is a certain level of tolerance for teen drinking in this community. We really don't need to be tolerant. The consequences of tolerance in regard to teen drinking are far too dire.

If a program like Safe Homes keeps just one kid out of an early grave, it's worth it. [[In-content Ad]]