I am always writing about things that bug me.

Usually, they are things that the government has done, or is planning to do. Important things that could affect us or our paychecks.

But there are lots of other, less important things that bug me, too. So, at the risk of being called a whiner, here goes.

• I hate it when you see something on sale in a store and then when you go to the register it scans the regular price. You have to watch every scan. Then, when you catch a mistake, the clerk looks at you as if you are anal-retentive and the people waiting behind you throw a few angry stares your way.

• The other day I say a big V-8 Cadillac cruising around with an "environment" license tag.

• One of the hottest-selling vehicles right now is a big, 4-wheel-drive sport utility. Lots of people are driving around in Suburbans, Cherokees and Explorers and simultaneously complaining about high gas prices. Some of them have "environment" license plates, too.

• We're all supposed to be so health conscious now, yet the trend is to "supersize" everything at fast food restaurants. Now, when you order a large anything, you're taking your life into your hands.

• Portions at other restaurants are huge, too. Why can't an adult order a smaller portion and pay less? Why can't an adult order something from the kids' menu, for example?

• It costs more for the healthy, "lite" menu items.

• It costs more to have your name left out of the phone book.

• Packaging annoys me. Have you ever tried to unwrap a compact disc without a utensil? Ever open up a package of those little Post-it notes?

We buy this yogurt that comes in little plastic cups with a foil lid glued around the top. The lid has a tab you're supposed to pull. But the tab usually pulls off before the lid separates from the plastic cup. Then you end up mangling the cup trying to rip the foil off. While this is happening to me, I daydream about the morning the CEO of that yogurt company is sitting at my breakfast table and I get to say, "Could you open this for me, please?"

• You request the smoking section in a restaurant, light up a $4 cigar, and some cigarette smoker berates you because you're smelling up the place.

• I don't understand why people haul aluminum cans to recycling bins. Why not just haul them to the salvage yard where they will PAY you for them?

• And speaking of recycling, why don't we just stop making clothes for a couple years and force people to shop at Goodwill? We're probably too vain for that.

• Same with cars. There are plenty of good used cars to go around. Too vain for that too, I'm sure. Can't picture the bank president or your doctor in a leisure suit and an '86 Escort, can you?

• I saw a car with two bumper stickers. One was a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) sticker. The other was a "We Vote Pro-Choice" sticker. Hmmm. This person simultaneously approves of the legal disposal of unborn children and a deer's right to life.

• I saw another car with a "Pro-Choice" bumper sticker and a "Kids First" license tag.

• I don't like acronyms like PETA. They're cheating. They can't just leave out the "f" for "for," the "t" for "the" and the "o" for "of." Their acronym should be PFTETOA. I like acronyms like CART (Championship Auto Racing Teams), AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome), NAFTA (North American Free Trade Alliance) or DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education). The people who leave letters out of acronyms are just too lazy to come up with a clever acronym.

• Speaking of PETA, I hear now that they are going to go after fishermen. They are going to throw rocks in the vicinity of fishermen to scare away the fish. Next, they'll be harassing gardeners at harvest time. I think I will start a new group called the PFTETOECLO. That's the People For The Ethical Treatment Of Every Conceivable Living Organism. We would not allow the exploitation of anything living. Of course, our group will not last long. We will starve. [[In-content Ad]]