Editor's Note: The following is the first of a six-part series on domestic abuse in Kosciusko County:

When it comes to domestic violence, Jeannie Campbell has pretty much seen it all.

In fact, she's so familiar with the symptoms of domestic violence that she can watch families in public places and tell if an abusive relationship is at work.

"I can literally walk through a store and see families together and know if there is abuse," said Campbell, the executive director of the Beaman Home, the only women's shelter in Kosciusko County. "You can tell by a certain level of fear in the way the wife and kids look and act."

The FBI describes battering as "the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse and isolation to coerce and control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden (and constant) terrorizing factor."

Campbell said one of the most dangerous aspects of spouse abuse is that it's premeditated.

"The abuser knows that woman from A to Z. He knows every move she makes. He knows what makes her tick," she said. "If she's really pretty, he'll strike her in the face - he doesn't want her pretty. If he's a prominent person in the community, he'll hit her between her neck and her knees so you can't see the bruises."

Even more chilling, Campbell said, is the abuser she once confronted, warning him that if he didn't stop, he could kill his wife. "And he said, 'No, I know how hard to hit her.' "

The major problem, said Becky Moreno, victim's assistant for the city of Warsaw, is that the general public sees spouse abuse as a family problem.

"They don't want to get involved, it doesn't affect them," she said. "Unfortunately, we live in a world where people tend to watch out for themselves first."

One of the myths about domestic violence is the "she-must-like-it-or-she'd-leave" argument. According to the local authorities who deal with the issue daily, women stay with their batterers for a variety of reasons.

"Why don't they leave? The biggest reason is just plain fear," Campbell said. "These women are conditioned just like brainwashing."

"She reports it to the police usually because she's reached the point where she's desperate," Moreno said. "A lot has gone on before she calls. She'll wait as long as she possibly can before she calls. She might not call because she's afraid she will lose the kids or afraid the call will make the abuse or the situation worse. What makes her call, finally, is that she's afraid he will kill her."

Lisa Eckert, victim's assistant for the Kosciusko County prosecutor's office, said a battered woman may leave and return 10 times before she finally leaves her abuser for good.

"The public needs to realize that the relationship didn't start out like that - never do they get smacked on the first date," Eckert said. "And they don't get beat every day. Sometimes it's only one time a year or every two years."

The violence has a generally recognized three-stage cycle, whether in a marriage or in a dating relationship. Phase one is the tension-building stage, which can include arguments, stress, increased friction and hostility.

Phase two is the battering stage, characterized as the release of the built-up tension. Battering is defined as physical or emotional abuse. Usually the more phase two occurs, the more severe the physical violence becomes.

Phase three is the honeymoon phase, which many experts see as the reason why abusive relationships continue. The batterer is contrite and apologizes, sometimes profusely. This is usually a very loving stage and includes promises that the violence will not happen again.

"Every time it's back in the honeymoon phase, that's the guy she fell in love with and married. When these guys are good, they're very, very good," Eckert said.

"She wants to believe with all her heart that he will change," Campbell said. "Eventually she starts to realize that the only way things are going to change is if she effects some kind of change in the home so he is not abusing her."

As dangerous as it may be at home, often it's even more dangerous for a battered woman to leave her abuser - the danger of serious violence escalates when a battered woman tries to leave. Statistics say women who leave their batterers are at a 75 percent greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay.

"The abuser goes to pieces when the woman leaves, he goes ballistic, he will do anything to get her back," Campbell said. "When the abuser finally realizes she's not coming home, he will lose it at that time because he's lost his total control of her."

And control is the name of the game. Ask anyone who deals with battered women or who was battered by a spouse why that spouse used physical violence or emotional abuse to get their way, and you'll get the same answer every time:

"It works." [[In-content Ad]]