Domestic Violence Victim Shares Experiences
July 28, 2016 at 4:25 p.m.
By Jennifer [email protected]
Approximately 5.3 million women are victims of domestic violence each year in the United States, according to the American Institute on Domestic Violence.
Warsaw resident Nicole, 40, is a woman who is part of these statistics. She was a victim of domestic violence during the five years she was married to one of her ex-husbands, John.[[In-content Ad]]She was abused physically, emotionally and mentally by a husband who she thought loved her. Like most women who are victims of domestic violence, she said she stayed with her husband because she thought he loved her and would change.
The reality is he never changed and his alcohol and drug problems she discovered early in their marriage got worse, causing him to be unpredictable and act out in violence against Nicole.
Nicole said she first met John on the Internet five years ago when she was 35, seven to eight months after she got a divorce from her first husband of 17 years.
She described her previous husband as a great father, but they grew apart. Nicole and John met for the first time in person at McDonalds and he brought his daughter along who was 2-1/2 years old at the time.
On their second date, John gave her 80 roses.
After two weeks of dating John she began noticing he had rage issues and would verbally abuse her.
She said she thought his anger would blow over. She didn't tell anyone except a former coworker about his verbal abuse because she was embarrassed.
Despite John's outbursts of rage, Nicole and John married in 2002 after knowing each other five months.
After the first month they were married Nicole discovered marijuana on her husband's desk and asked him about it. He admitted using it, but promised he wouldn't do it again.
The physical abuse began the first month after they were married when they went to Nicole's company Christmas party. She said he was intoxicated at the party and once they were home, he grabbed her, shook her and sat on top of her while holding her down.
The next day he came home and said he was sorry and that he loved her. She believed him.
In December 2003 he forcefully pushed her backward causing her to bruise her tailbone.
She eventually began living upstairs on the second level of the home and he would kick her as she went up the stairs carrying her children.
"A lot of the violence happened in the bedroom behind closed doors," Nicole said.
She had temporary restraining orders against John, but dropped them after a few short weeks, because he told her he loved her.
Although she never had broken bones, she had bruises from the abuse and once had to have emergency reconstructive surgery on her jaw because John dislocated it when he hit her.
In June 2004, Nicole testified in court about his alcohol and drug problem despite John telling her to lie. He lost custody of his daughter who was 5 at the time.
In July 2004, John and his mother demanded she and her children move out so Nicole moved to an apartment.
In October 2004, John threw Nicole down and her wrist struck the doorway causing deep bruising.
He hit her in the jaw in February 2005 causing her to temporarily loose her hearing.
In May 2005 she purchase a home in Silver Lake. She moved there with her two sons and John moved back in with her.
They got along for about a month after living together again, but his drinking problems were worse than before.
She said 2006 was the worse year for the abuse and there were three weekends in a row when he hit her. Her coworkers began noticing bruises on her body.
In 2006 John called police and told them Nicole was holding him hostage. But when authorities arrived, they saw handprints on her waist and hands and John was arrested on domestic violence charges.
On Jan. 22 John filed for divorce and Nicole filed for a restraining order against him until January 2009.
A court case in regard to the incident where her jaw was dislocated is pending.
Domestic Violence Survey Being Conducted Locally
A local task force consisting of representatives from Kosciusko County businesses and citizens have conducted an online survey since Sept. 13 collecting statistics and information from the community in an effort to improve help to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in Kosciusko County. The survey can be found online until Oct. 31 at www.surveymonkey.com/domesticviolence
Approximately 5.3 million women are victims of domestic violence each year in the United States, according to the American Institute on Domestic Violence.
Warsaw resident Nicole, 40, is a woman who is part of these statistics. She was a victim of domestic violence during the five years she was married to one of her ex-husbands, John.[[In-content Ad]]She was abused physically, emotionally and mentally by a husband who she thought loved her. Like most women who are victims of domestic violence, she said she stayed with her husband because she thought he loved her and would change.
The reality is he never changed and his alcohol and drug problems she discovered early in their marriage got worse, causing him to be unpredictable and act out in violence against Nicole.
Nicole said she first met John on the Internet five years ago when she was 35, seven to eight months after she got a divorce from her first husband of 17 years.
She described her previous husband as a great father, but they grew apart. Nicole and John met for the first time in person at McDonalds and he brought his daughter along who was 2-1/2 years old at the time.
On their second date, John gave her 80 roses.
After two weeks of dating John she began noticing he had rage issues and would verbally abuse her.
She said she thought his anger would blow over. She didn't tell anyone except a former coworker about his verbal abuse because she was embarrassed.
Despite John's outbursts of rage, Nicole and John married in 2002 after knowing each other five months.
After the first month they were married Nicole discovered marijuana on her husband's desk and asked him about it. He admitted using it, but promised he wouldn't do it again.
The physical abuse began the first month after they were married when they went to Nicole's company Christmas party. She said he was intoxicated at the party and once they were home, he grabbed her, shook her and sat on top of her while holding her down.
The next day he came home and said he was sorry and that he loved her. She believed him.
In December 2003 he forcefully pushed her backward causing her to bruise her tailbone.
She eventually began living upstairs on the second level of the home and he would kick her as she went up the stairs carrying her children.
"A lot of the violence happened in the bedroom behind closed doors," Nicole said.
She had temporary restraining orders against John, but dropped them after a few short weeks, because he told her he loved her.
Although she never had broken bones, she had bruises from the abuse and once had to have emergency reconstructive surgery on her jaw because John dislocated it when he hit her.
In June 2004, Nicole testified in court about his alcohol and drug problem despite John telling her to lie. He lost custody of his daughter who was 5 at the time.
In July 2004, John and his mother demanded she and her children move out so Nicole moved to an apartment.
In October 2004, John threw Nicole down and her wrist struck the doorway causing deep bruising.
He hit her in the jaw in February 2005 causing her to temporarily loose her hearing.
In May 2005 she purchase a home in Silver Lake. She moved there with her two sons and John moved back in with her.
They got along for about a month after living together again, but his drinking problems were worse than before.
She said 2006 was the worse year for the abuse and there were three weekends in a row when he hit her. Her coworkers began noticing bruises on her body.
In 2006 John called police and told them Nicole was holding him hostage. But when authorities arrived, they saw handprints on her waist and hands and John was arrested on domestic violence charges.
On Jan. 22 John filed for divorce and Nicole filed for a restraining order against him until January 2009.
A court case in regard to the incident where her jaw was dislocated is pending.
Domestic Violence Survey Being Conducted Locally
A local task force consisting of representatives from Kosciusko County businesses and citizens have conducted an online survey since Sept. 13 collecting statistics and information from the community in an effort to improve help to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in Kosciusko County. The survey can be found online until Oct. 31 at www.surveymonkey.com/domesticviolence
Have a news tip? Email [email protected] or Call/Text 360-922-3092