Isn't it nice to have the kids back in school?

Please don't misunderstand. I love my kids. But they were really starting to drive me crazy with all this time off school.

Each day after work when I would walk through the door they would pounce on me.

Each would have a litany of misdeeds by the other to report. It has always amazed me how much they can appear to love each other one minute and hate each other the next.

I have an older brother - nine years older - so I didn't really have that competition thing going on with a sibling. But my kids sure do. It always starts out as good-natured fun. Tickling or teasing or something. But soon it escalates into a screaming match.

They compete over who gets the "middle" cinnamon roll in the pan when it comes out of the oven. The middle cinnamon roll has no hard, crusty outside edge, you see.

We got them one of those Playstation¨ game things for Christmas. Now the debate rages over who gets to play what game at what time.

Of course all this friction was compounded by the fact that they were stuck in the house day after day after day during the blizzard of 1999 and the resultant two weeks' worth of snow days.

I would get calls at work. A tearful 12-year-old girl imploring me to "tell Evan to let me use the remote." Or a brash 14-year-old boy ordering me to "make Braedon get off the couch. I called it!"

While one is on the phone I hear Ozzi the elkhound barking in the background and the other youngster screaming "HUSH" at the top of his or her lungs. Hush is the word we use to try to get Ozzi to be quiet. But of course Ozzi has no intention of being quiet. He's thrilled. He's got people around during the day to play with. It's a great day for him. It just adds to the chaos.

I find it exceedingly difficult to intervene in these brother/sister conflicts. No matter what I say, it always seems wrong. How can you possibly intervene without taking sides?

I read somewhere that if your children had to share something to eat, the best way to handle it is to tell one child to divide the portions and give the other child first choice. Ah, the sheer satisfaction of simple logic.

I tried it.

I told my daughter she could split up the large order of french fries and that her brother got to choose his half first. "Daaaaad. That's not fair!" she said. Baffled, I asked why. "Because there's no way I can split them exactly in half and Evan will know which half has more and then he'll get more than me."

So I have determined that it is impossible to settle these sibling disputes to the mutual satisfaction of all the parties. And it would have been easier to settle the NBA strike than to mediate the differences of my children during their snow days.

While my sibling rivalry was limited as a child because of the age difference between my brother and I, my wife was the youngest of three children, having an older brother and sister all within five years of each other. She is fully familiar with sibling rivalry and, therefore, handles it much better than I.

If I only had a dime for every time she has told me, "They're just kids, you know." She continually reminds me to save the big ammunition for the big battles and to just grin and bear it over the little battles.

That's sound advice. I know they're kids. But really, they argue about who looked at whom last.

These snow days have given me a new appreciation for the role of teachers. I have a tough enough time dealing with a couple kids. A whole classroom full of them must be a real hoot.

I am really not complaining, I guess. I have been blessed with good kids. They get good grades and haven't robbed any liquor stores. But sometimes I just wish they would get along a little better.

My wife assures me that this is normal behavior for a brother and sister.

I will take her word for it.

But nonetheless, I am really thankful to have them back in school again.

I am not sure what will happen around our house if the big almanac rumor of 40 inches of snow in February comes true.

Maybe we could trade in the Playstation¨ for a boxing ring. [[In-content Ad]]