A story that moved across the Scripps Howard wire earlier this week almost made me laugh out loud.

Perhaps you saw it. I ran it in Tuesday's edition.

It was a real hoot. I mean, it wasn't meant to be funny, but it truly was.

But I guess it was kind of tragic, too, at the same time, because it was incontrovertible evidence of what a twisted up wreck our society and culture are becoming.

When I stopped laughing, I shook my head in disbelief.

The story was about how there are people in this country pondering a fat tax.

Not a tax on people who are overweight. (Not yet, anyway, that's probably not too far off.)

No, it's a tax on things that make you fat. And maybe some lawsuits, too.

Check this out:

Former Surgeon General David Satcher says obesity translates into 300,000 premature deaths each year, and $117 billion in fat-related health bills from eating-related diseases like adult-onset diabetes and cholesterol-clogged arteries.

Legal experts say it is not out of the realm of possibility that the legal system could come up with an alternative way of paying for the extra health costs, with some grand legal settlement with the food industry similar to the $260 billion settlement reached with the tobacco industry.

John Banzhaf, a George Washington University Law School professor who started a lonely crusade against smoking in 1967 and developed the legal theories that led to the tobacco settlement, said that while there are obvious differences between food and tobacco, the concept of a lawsuit against the food industry on fatty food issues can't be ruled out.

Banzhaf stressed that he is not involved in any such lawsuit, but said that the food industry could be held liable for the added costs to society of paying the medical costs associated with obesity, if it can be shown that the industry used deceptive advertising to persuade Americans that fat foods are healthy for them, when they are not.

'It's an idea that has some promise,' he said. 'It's quite possible it could happen.'

That was an excerpt from the Scripps Howard story I ran earlier this week for those who missed it.

You know what? This is truly a case of truth being stranger than fiction.

Back on June 16, 2001, I wrote a column after a huge tobacco settlement. Some smoker, who, of course, had no idea that smoking was bad for him, got sick.

A jury said the tobacco company owed him $4 billion. Yeah, billion with a B.

With tongue planted firmly in cheek, I wrote the following:

There was this study conducted by the Rand Institute and published in Public Health, a British journal.

Researchers interviewed more than 9,500 adults.

First, the study showed that obese people have far more health problems than either smokers or heavy drinkers.

Second, the study showed that three out of five adults are overweight and one in four is obese.

Hmmmm.

Who can we sue now?

Maybe it's time the fast food places start putting warning labels on their burger wrappers.

Of course, even if they did, half a lifetime later somebody would say, "I didn't know eating five Big Mac value meals a week was bad for me."

That's absurd, you say, nobody forced them to eat that way and gain weight.

But wait, is it absurd? What about all that marketing? Were the fast food people being completely honest with us? Did they warn us about all the health consequences of a fat- and sugar- laden diet?

And that advertising.

They target our kids. They even offer them little toys to get them in the door. Some of them even have little playrooms as an added attraction.

And once those little tykes taste those burgers, fries and shakes, they're hooked. They're addicted. Doomed to a lifetime of poor eating habits.

And it's not just the fat food folks. How about ice cream makers, potato chip makers, doughnut makers, chocolate makers, candy makers and soda pop makers?

Beware, food consumers. Beware the rapacious food sellers enticing you into obesity.

A growing percentage of Americans will end up fat and sick because of these evil companies.

Don't let them fool you. They're not selling food. They're selling heart disease, diabetes, arterial disease and stroke.

Remember the study, now. Fat people on average have more health problems than smokers or heavy drinkers.

And with the percentage of Americans who are overweight hovering around 60 percent, it's easy to see there is a considerable amount of weight-related illness looming on our health horizon.

We hear about the heavy cost of tobacco in the health care system. What about the cost of fat in the health care system?

When someone overeats and gets fat, we don't really say much about it. I guess we think that would be mean.

But we have absolutely no problem being mean to smokers. We make them huddle outdoors in the dead of winter. We segregate them.

Then, later on, when they get sick, we reward them for their behavior. We blame the tobacco companies.

With legions of people suffering fat-related health problems in this country, how long can it be before overeaters start filing fat suits?

How prophetic.

Apparently, to answer my question, it may not be too long at all.

Only it won't be overeaters who get the legal ball rolling, it will be the government.

Only problem is, I was kidding. I was using sarcasm and exaggeration to make a point.

Low and behold, now it may actually come true.

It's unbelievable.

People talk about rights and freedoms a lot in this country. We have plenty of both - more than anyone else on Earth.

But they're being eroded. They're being eroded by do-gooders in the government and the private sector.

I don't think adults need to be told how to live their lives.

Basically you should be able to eat, drink or smoke as much of a legal substance as you want. (Or as much as the law allows, in the case of alcohol.)

But watch out, the calorie cops may be coming.

You didn't care when the price of booze and ciggies went up because of sin taxes. You didn't care when the government sued the tobacco companies.

But what are you going to do when the cost of a Big Mac hits $3 because of a fat tax and a bunch of fast food lawsuits? [[In-content Ad]]