Characteristics of a batterer:

• Has low self-esteem (emotionally needy).

• Rushes into relationship - whirlwind romance, "love at first sight," pressures his partner to commit to a relationship before they're ready.

• Shows excessive jealousy - Abusers always will say jealousy is a sign of love, when it is actually a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust.

• Exhibits controlling behavior - Abusers say they are concerned for their partner's safety - i.e., they will become angry if the partner is late coming back from the store or an appointment, and will question the partner about where they went and who they talked to. As the violence escalates, the abuser may not allow the partner to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, friends or money.

• Makes unrealistic demands - The abuser expects the partner to meet all of their needs, expects the partner to take care of everything - emotionally, physically and sometimes economically. Says things like, "If you love me, I'm all you need and you're all I need."

• Uses isolation - Keeps the partner centered on the abuser, gradually isolating the partner from family and friends; may even restrict the use of the phone and car. Believes in male supremacy of the home and the male's need to dominate, control and be catered to.

• Has trouble communicating feelings - Lashes out with violence instead.

• Blames others for their actions - Blames the victim for making them angry: "Why did you make me do that?" Does not accept responsibility for their own behavior.

• Presents dual personalities - May function well at work, with friends and with family, but hides violence at home, making it hard for those closest to the victim to believe that the abuser is, in fact, an abuser.

• Exhibits cruelty to animals and children - Punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain; expects children to be capable of things beyond their ability; is very critical of children. [[In-content Ad]]