The Penalty Box: What I Want For Christmas
October 25, 2022 at 10:10 p.m.
The Penalty Box: What I Want For Christmas
By Roger Grossman-
He comes to me seeking guidance on who Santa should be good to and who deserves a whole sock full of coal.
I am always happy to help a friend.
At the end, he always asks what he can do for me on Christmas Day, and I never take him up on that. I have everything I need.
But, as we get into the list-making season, I feel inclined to send Santa a list of things in sports that I would like to see happen before the bells of Christmas Day ring.
I would like to have some hard evidence that the Cubs are totally serious about being good in 2023.
There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for the Cubs not to go out and sign some high-quality free agents—
field players and pitchers.
Now, you might be thinking that the Cubs had so many young players who had solid Septembers that they should see what those youngsters can do for a full season.
If that’s you, I would remind you that Frank Schwindel hit .342 over the last half of 2021 and was going to be the next in line of the great first basemen on the North Side.
By mid-summer 2022 he’d been sent down to AAA Iowa, and the Cubs released him in September.
You don’t think the front office isn’t putting guys like Christopher Morel, Brandon Hughes and half-a-dozen other guys through that same filter?
I also have on my Christmas list a really nice retirement party for Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
Since he demanded that the Packers either trade him or fire their general manager, the Packers haven’t been right. Most of the team is in a rebuild, and Rodgers is the last person on earth you want trying to lead them through that.
He is not a patient man at all. He is too sarcastic, too dismissive to be effective with the offensive personnel the Packers are fielding.
A quarterback with that kind of young receiving corps cannot stop throwing the ball to a player because he drops a pass early in that game.
That’s who Rodgers is, though.
Plus, he spent the off-season, knowing that his favorite target was leaving for a new team and the receivers on the roster would be inexperienced, in South America looking to discover the meaning of life or whatever.
If I were the Packers, I would tell him he should absolutely continue searching for that…while he is playing for someone else. They could get a haul of draft picks for him.
I also wish for Christmas that the Bulls would get healthy.
They are missing their dynamic point guard and their second-leading scorer.
If they are healthy, they are a threat to challenge to the rest of the Eastern Conference next spring.
If not, it will feel like a wasted winter, and it won’t be anyone’s fault.
I am going to see my beloved Blackhawks play the Penguins next month, and for Christmas I would like to not be embarrassed to have spent my hard-earned money on that night.
They were expected to be a bottom-three team in the league at the start of the of the season, but they haven’t been that terrible through the first three weeks—when they have stayed out of the penalty box, that is.
My friend who is going with me is a Penguins fan, and I just do not want to be a grumpy Gus because my team isn’t competitive.
Also on my Christmas list are ice skates to slide around the new Miller Sunset Pavilion when it opens for business next month. I am really excited to see this project come to fruition.
And I want my wife to make her homemade lasagna during Christmas Break, I want a white Christmas with dry roads, and peanut butter balls—which I will never call “buckeyes” because of Ohio State fans.
Oh, and I’ll throw in world peace, an end to the current economic…whatever they call it (maybe I should just ask for gas under $3?), and an endless supply of Reese’s Christmas trees—the white chocolate ones, please.
Let’s get this sent off. I Wonder if Santa has e-mail.
He comes to me seeking guidance on who Santa should be good to and who deserves a whole sock full of coal.
I am always happy to help a friend.
At the end, he always asks what he can do for me on Christmas Day, and I never take him up on that. I have everything I need.
But, as we get into the list-making season, I feel inclined to send Santa a list of things in sports that I would like to see happen before the bells of Christmas Day ring.
I would like to have some hard evidence that the Cubs are totally serious about being good in 2023.
There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for the Cubs not to go out and sign some high-quality free agents—
field players and pitchers.
Now, you might be thinking that the Cubs had so many young players who had solid Septembers that they should see what those youngsters can do for a full season.
If that’s you, I would remind you that Frank Schwindel hit .342 over the last half of 2021 and was going to be the next in line of the great first basemen on the North Side.
By mid-summer 2022 he’d been sent down to AAA Iowa, and the Cubs released him in September.
You don’t think the front office isn’t putting guys like Christopher Morel, Brandon Hughes and half-a-dozen other guys through that same filter?
I also have on my Christmas list a really nice retirement party for Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
Since he demanded that the Packers either trade him or fire their general manager, the Packers haven’t been right. Most of the team is in a rebuild, and Rodgers is the last person on earth you want trying to lead them through that.
He is not a patient man at all. He is too sarcastic, too dismissive to be effective with the offensive personnel the Packers are fielding.
A quarterback with that kind of young receiving corps cannot stop throwing the ball to a player because he drops a pass early in that game.
That’s who Rodgers is, though.
Plus, he spent the off-season, knowing that his favorite target was leaving for a new team and the receivers on the roster would be inexperienced, in South America looking to discover the meaning of life or whatever.
If I were the Packers, I would tell him he should absolutely continue searching for that…while he is playing for someone else. They could get a haul of draft picks for him.
I also wish for Christmas that the Bulls would get healthy.
They are missing their dynamic point guard and their second-leading scorer.
If they are healthy, they are a threat to challenge to the rest of the Eastern Conference next spring.
If not, it will feel like a wasted winter, and it won’t be anyone’s fault.
I am going to see my beloved Blackhawks play the Penguins next month, and for Christmas I would like to not be embarrassed to have spent my hard-earned money on that night.
They were expected to be a bottom-three team in the league at the start of the of the season, but they haven’t been that terrible through the first three weeks—when they have stayed out of the penalty box, that is.
My friend who is going with me is a Penguins fan, and I just do not want to be a grumpy Gus because my team isn’t competitive.
Also on my Christmas list are ice skates to slide around the new Miller Sunset Pavilion when it opens for business next month. I am really excited to see this project come to fruition.
And I want my wife to make her homemade lasagna during Christmas Break, I want a white Christmas with dry roads, and peanut butter balls—which I will never call “buckeyes” because of Ohio State fans.
Oh, and I’ll throw in world peace, an end to the current economic…whatever they call it (maybe I should just ask for gas under $3?), and an endless supply of Reese’s Christmas trees—the white chocolate ones, please.
Let’s get this sent off. I Wonder if Santa has e-mail.
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