The Penalty Box: Santa’s Visit

December 21, 2022 at 11:36 p.m.
The Penalty Box: Santa’s Visit
The Penalty Box: Santa’s Visit

By Roger Grossman-

Sunday nights are pretty quiet at the Grossman Compound.

We don’t go too many places outside of church-related events, and there isn’t even a semi-formal meal—you fend for yourself, except for the eight-year-old who isn’t as ready for “fending” as he thinks he is.

Last Sunday was typical.

Until, well, it happened.

Sounds like a small jet airplane grew louder and louder ‘til it felt like whatever it was was going to put a big hole in the house.

My wife was startled.

I put my hand up and said, “I’ll go take a look.”

I didn’t need to look…I knew.

It was him.

Decked out in a Christmas-sleigh-red sweatshirt and black sweatpants, Santa was back in Winona Lake to get some last-minute intel on who in sports had been naughty and who had been nice.

I said “what’s up old man? I was just about to hit the hay.”

He responded, “I would have been here sooner, but the elves were a little slow prepping my ride…still trying to get over the second half of that Colts game yesterday.”

It was a sore subject. I told him not to bring it up.

I told him, on the good side, that he needed to start with Niners quarterback Brock Purdy.

Purdy was the last player taken in last spring's draft. That player is labeled “Mr. Irrelevant”. 261 players were chosen before him over 7 rounds of choosing.

His chances of making a team were slimmer than slim. But he did. And with injuries to their top two quarterbacks, Purdy went from “irrelevant” to the starting quarterback of one of the hottest teams in the league.

With him at QB, they haven’t missed a beat.

I also suggested that Marcus Freeman be on his “good list”, and high on that list, too.

The Notre Dame coach who had asked his players to “step up” and “rise up” daily, now was showing his boys what that meant.

When Brian Kelly (more on him later, promise) left the Irish in the middle of the night for LSU, Freeman said “I’m staying, and I’ll lead.”

And when the world caved in early in the season with losses to Marshall and Stanford, Freeman never wavered. He never changed course. He never looked anywhere but forward.

And now the Irish are looking up as they head into their bowl game against South Carolina next week.

I suggested Santa remember guys like Steph Curry and Patrick Mahomes—guys who are talented but are stars in their sports because of how hard they work at their craft.

Those two, and others like them, remind the young kids who think so much of them (and us older people, too) just how much can be accomplished with good work ethic.

And I told him to be good to all the kids who had stayed away from alcohol, drugs, smoking and vaping in 2022. I hope they see that they will never regret that decision.

Then, admittedly, my smile slipped away, and my expression soured.

“Uh oh…. here he goes,” Santa said.

He knew what was coming.

I told my plump friend to plop the biggest, heaviest chunk of coal he could find in the stocking of Brian Kelly (I told you he would come up again).

He stayed long enough to win enough games to become the all-time winningest coach at Notre Dame, then vanished in the middle of the night to the swamp land of Louisiana—a fitting place for him to go.

All the while he was floating parting shots back at the Irish and the university.

He’s a great example of the difference between winning and being a winner.

The Tigers play Purdue in their bowl game, and their coach bailed and ran too.

Jeff Brohm left Purdue for Louisville after figuring out that his way of doing things failed in the Big Ten.

Whatever.

I suggested to Santa that he give Cubs and Sox fans the gift of hope this Christmas with new owners for their teams.

Tom Ricketts pocketing our ticket money and pretending to be on the verge of living in a cardboard box on Lower Wacker Drive makes him Scrooge to the core. Jerry Reinsdorf insisting on righting a wrong from 40 years ago and hiring Tony LaRussa as manager again and wasting two years of having players the Cubs could only wish they had was ownership malpractice.

Santa giggled, “got you pretty worked up this year, eh?”

I shrugged, and he understood.

He hopped back on board his EV sleigh (he can use that because he’s not carrying any toys ‘til Saturday night) and he said “see ya this weekend.”

I nodded and told him to be safe…and be quick.

And I heard him proclaim as he sailed out of view, “Merry Christmas to the Colts, the Bears and Purdue.”

Sunday nights are pretty quiet at the Grossman Compound.

We don’t go too many places outside of church-related events, and there isn’t even a semi-formal meal—you fend for yourself, except for the eight-year-old who isn’t as ready for “fending” as he thinks he is.

Last Sunday was typical.

Until, well, it happened.

Sounds like a small jet airplane grew louder and louder ‘til it felt like whatever it was was going to put a big hole in the house.

My wife was startled.

I put my hand up and said, “I’ll go take a look.”

I didn’t need to look…I knew.

It was him.

Decked out in a Christmas-sleigh-red sweatshirt and black sweatpants, Santa was back in Winona Lake to get some last-minute intel on who in sports had been naughty and who had been nice.

I said “what’s up old man? I was just about to hit the hay.”

He responded, “I would have been here sooner, but the elves were a little slow prepping my ride…still trying to get over the second half of that Colts game yesterday.”

It was a sore subject. I told him not to bring it up.

I told him, on the good side, that he needed to start with Niners quarterback Brock Purdy.

Purdy was the last player taken in last spring's draft. That player is labeled “Mr. Irrelevant”. 261 players were chosen before him over 7 rounds of choosing.

His chances of making a team were slimmer than slim. But he did. And with injuries to their top two quarterbacks, Purdy went from “irrelevant” to the starting quarterback of one of the hottest teams in the league.

With him at QB, they haven’t missed a beat.

I also suggested that Marcus Freeman be on his “good list”, and high on that list, too.

The Notre Dame coach who had asked his players to “step up” and “rise up” daily, now was showing his boys what that meant.

When Brian Kelly (more on him later, promise) left the Irish in the middle of the night for LSU, Freeman said “I’m staying, and I’ll lead.”

And when the world caved in early in the season with losses to Marshall and Stanford, Freeman never wavered. He never changed course. He never looked anywhere but forward.

And now the Irish are looking up as they head into their bowl game against South Carolina next week.

I suggested Santa remember guys like Steph Curry and Patrick Mahomes—guys who are talented but are stars in their sports because of how hard they work at their craft.

Those two, and others like them, remind the young kids who think so much of them (and us older people, too) just how much can be accomplished with good work ethic.

And I told him to be good to all the kids who had stayed away from alcohol, drugs, smoking and vaping in 2022. I hope they see that they will never regret that decision.

Then, admittedly, my smile slipped away, and my expression soured.

“Uh oh…. here he goes,” Santa said.

He knew what was coming.

I told my plump friend to plop the biggest, heaviest chunk of coal he could find in the stocking of Brian Kelly (I told you he would come up again).

He stayed long enough to win enough games to become the all-time winningest coach at Notre Dame, then vanished in the middle of the night to the swamp land of Louisiana—a fitting place for him to go.

All the while he was floating parting shots back at the Irish and the university.

He’s a great example of the difference between winning and being a winner.

The Tigers play Purdue in their bowl game, and their coach bailed and ran too.

Jeff Brohm left Purdue for Louisville after figuring out that his way of doing things failed in the Big Ten.

Whatever.

I suggested to Santa that he give Cubs and Sox fans the gift of hope this Christmas with new owners for their teams.

Tom Ricketts pocketing our ticket money and pretending to be on the verge of living in a cardboard box on Lower Wacker Drive makes him Scrooge to the core. Jerry Reinsdorf insisting on righting a wrong from 40 years ago and hiring Tony LaRussa as manager again and wasting two years of having players the Cubs could only wish they had was ownership malpractice.

Santa giggled, “got you pretty worked up this year, eh?”

I shrugged, and he understood.

He hopped back on board his EV sleigh (he can use that because he’s not carrying any toys ‘til Saturday night) and he said “see ya this weekend.”

I nodded and told him to be safe…and be quick.

And I heard him proclaim as he sailed out of view, “Merry Christmas to the Colts, the Bears and Purdue.”
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