The Penalty Box: A Christmas Buffet Of Stories
December 14, 2022 at 3:32 a.m.
The Penalty Box: A Christmas Buffet Of Stories
By Roger Grossman-
In honor of that, I offer you these thoughts on stories that are roaming through my head. Consider it a one-man-carry-in dinner of sports stories for you with less than two-weeks to go until the big day.
I wonder what it’s like to be 7’ 4” tall like Zach Edey of the Purdue men’s basketball team?
I suppose if I walked into a class of third graders at a local elementary school, that might give me some sort of clue, right?
But where does he buy his clothes? Do “big and tall” stores carry 3X-tall shirts and pants for a guy who has a 48” inseam or whatever it is?
What about his bed? Did the engineering students at Purdue have to craft a custom-made bed frame for him? And what about the mattress? Is there a way to order a 9-foot-long mattress and bed spring set? Do the people at Denver Mattress giggle and put you on speaker so their coworkers can listen in when you call to order that?
And, of course, there is the ducking through every doorway and having to walk around ceiling fans and all of that.
The Bears and Colts both had their bye weeks this past Sunday.
I didn’t miss them…either of them.
I thought of a rule I wanted to change.
I am not sure why I haven’t though of this before, but a shot from beyond mid-court in a basketball game should only count for two points.
I have watched a lot of games already this season decided by shots from more than 45 feet away, and I am just not sure I am ok with a shot from that far away counting for three points.
From beyond the mid-court line, a player isn’t shooting that ball, they are heaving it. Skill is no longer involved. That ball going in from that far out is all about being lucky, not being good.
And even though I am famous for saying “it’s always better to be lucky than good,” basketball collectively needs to fix this.
Ironically, there was a movement not that long ago that would have made a shot from beyond the mid-court line worth four points instead of three.
I think my wife and I overdid it last week.
My daughter turned 13. This a lot more of an emotional moment for me than I had anticipated.
For her birthday, we got her a cell phone.
It’s been sensory overload at the Grossman Compound.
On a related note, her birthday theme was avacados.
You read that right…avacados.
She won’t eat them, but she’s all about them.
I can’t believe how much stuff is out there with avacados on it!
15 years ago, did anyone know what an avocado even was?
Getting the stomach flu is a wonderful weight loss plan.
I had it most of last week. When I weighed myself Sunday morning, I was at 206.
The last time I was at 206 was in 1996, which was right after my knee surgery. I couldn’t umpire or play softball and I started to…well, “bulk up” a little.
I was 233 when I married Holly in 2000 and 258 in 2008.
College bowl games start this weekend.
I know people mock how many bowl games there are and how many mediocre teams end up playing in them, but bowl games make football programs better.
Think about it: if it’s true that practicing more make you better, another three weeks of practice makes a football team better, right?
What I wonder about in 2022 is whether being the title sponsor of a bowl games is a good marketing plan for a company. Do people still watch the bowl games that don’t involve the College Football Playoffs and on New Year’s Weekend? If the sponsorship dries up, then the games probably do to.
And finally, I offer those of you who are dreaming of a white Christmas a holiday an olive branch of peace and good will.
I am willing to let it snow the week before Christmas, but only on the condition that the snow sticks in the grass and not in the roads.
Deal?
Merry Christmas everyone.
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In honor of that, I offer you these thoughts on stories that are roaming through my head. Consider it a one-man-carry-in dinner of sports stories for you with less than two-weeks to go until the big day.
I wonder what it’s like to be 7’ 4” tall like Zach Edey of the Purdue men’s basketball team?
I suppose if I walked into a class of third graders at a local elementary school, that might give me some sort of clue, right?
But where does he buy his clothes? Do “big and tall” stores carry 3X-tall shirts and pants for a guy who has a 48” inseam or whatever it is?
What about his bed? Did the engineering students at Purdue have to craft a custom-made bed frame for him? And what about the mattress? Is there a way to order a 9-foot-long mattress and bed spring set? Do the people at Denver Mattress giggle and put you on speaker so their coworkers can listen in when you call to order that?
And, of course, there is the ducking through every doorway and having to walk around ceiling fans and all of that.
The Bears and Colts both had their bye weeks this past Sunday.
I didn’t miss them…either of them.
I thought of a rule I wanted to change.
I am not sure why I haven’t though of this before, but a shot from beyond mid-court in a basketball game should only count for two points.
I have watched a lot of games already this season decided by shots from more than 45 feet away, and I am just not sure I am ok with a shot from that far away counting for three points.
From beyond the mid-court line, a player isn’t shooting that ball, they are heaving it. Skill is no longer involved. That ball going in from that far out is all about being lucky, not being good.
And even though I am famous for saying “it’s always better to be lucky than good,” basketball collectively needs to fix this.
Ironically, there was a movement not that long ago that would have made a shot from beyond the mid-court line worth four points instead of three.
I think my wife and I overdid it last week.
My daughter turned 13. This a lot more of an emotional moment for me than I had anticipated.
For her birthday, we got her a cell phone.
It’s been sensory overload at the Grossman Compound.
On a related note, her birthday theme was avacados.
You read that right…avacados.
She won’t eat them, but she’s all about them.
I can’t believe how much stuff is out there with avacados on it!
15 years ago, did anyone know what an avocado even was?
Getting the stomach flu is a wonderful weight loss plan.
I had it most of last week. When I weighed myself Sunday morning, I was at 206.
The last time I was at 206 was in 1996, which was right after my knee surgery. I couldn’t umpire or play softball and I started to…well, “bulk up” a little.
I was 233 when I married Holly in 2000 and 258 in 2008.
College bowl games start this weekend.
I know people mock how many bowl games there are and how many mediocre teams end up playing in them, but bowl games make football programs better.
Think about it: if it’s true that practicing more make you better, another three weeks of practice makes a football team better, right?
What I wonder about in 2022 is whether being the title sponsor of a bowl games is a good marketing plan for a company. Do people still watch the bowl games that don’t involve the College Football Playoffs and on New Year’s Weekend? If the sponsorship dries up, then the games probably do to.
And finally, I offer those of you who are dreaming of a white Christmas a holiday an olive branch of peace and good will.
I am willing to let it snow the week before Christmas, but only on the condition that the snow sticks in the grass and not in the roads.
Deal?
Merry Christmas everyone.
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