Dreams Must Be Kept In Perspective
October 7, 2020 at 2:27 a.m.
Dreams Must Be Kept In Perspective
By Roger Grossman-
We were talking about what they wanted to do for a living, and what would be the perfect job for them.
It got me thinking about the concept of dreams and what those dreams really are about.
When we talk about dreams, we aren’t talking about those vivid images you have while you are sleeping that either freak you out or make you wake up in a cold sweat.
We are talking about what your goals are. What is it you want from your life? Your job? Your spouse? Your kids? Your house? When you envision the rest of your life, what does it look like?
The conversation with the kids last week was insightful. Most of the people in this small group of high schoolers were cautiously optimistic about college and the opportunities that would pop up on the other side of it. It was a good conversation and I walked away with a good feeling and good information to file away in the warehouse of my mind.
We encourage kids at that stage in life, and understandably so, to “go for it”. We want them to aim as high as possible—to dream really big and not let anything stand in the way of getting “there”. There is not a thing wrong with that at all. Not one thing. We should be cheering young people on to reach as high as they can reach to show everyone (including themselves) what they are really capable of.
But that is also where things can get sideways.
We prod kids to do more and be more and achieve more than they ever thought they could, but in the process we sometimes set a false standard on what “success” in making those dreams a reality means.
With the leaves changing and the nights are cooler, I get kind of reflective.
The special aide who helped me overcome my stuttering and lispy speech through elementary and middle school passed away a few years ago. In her final moments on this earth, I was made aware of her condition and that she had heard me on the radio from her home in Fulton County. She put a lot of work into me because my dream was to be a radio play-by-play announcer and sportscaster. My obstacles in reaching that dream were significant, but she would not let me quit on them no matter how much I wanted to sometimes.
I know she knew that “we did it”, and we did it together.
As I went to the funeral home to pay my final respects later that week, word filtered through her family that I was there. When I got to the front of the line, they gathered around me to listen to my stories of spending every Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon with her repeating “Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore” over and over and over again.
I’ll never forget Mrs. Belcher, nor her family, for as long as I live.
But consider this: my ‘dream job’ was to be the play-by-play voice of the Chicago Cubs. I grew up in a house without cable or satellite TV, where the channel was changed on the television by the person closest to it getting up and rolling a dial to one of the other five stations we could see. Mom and I listened to those afternoon Cubs broadcasts every day, and it was then that I made the determination that there was no more noble cause for me than to take the games to people who could not be at them like Vince Lloyd, Lou Boudreau, Harry Caray, Milo Hamilton and others had done for me.
That dream of having my work address be 1060 West Addison has not and will not ever come to fruition.
So, has my career been a failure? Hardly.
We all have to understand that as we push ourselves to reach out for our dreams, our dreams are just goals that we set for ourselves and our lives. Sometimes those goals are not reachable. Sometimes those dreams were reachable but not meant to be. Whether you believe in God or fate or karma or whatever, you must understand that almost no one achieves their goals to 100% satisfaction.
Goals are also not a right. No one is entitled to reach their goal. No one, and I mean no one, can demand others step aside for the sake of their goal.
Our satisfaction ultimately must come from a place inside of us that can look back, when it’s all over, and say “I got out of myself 100% of everything I possibly could have”.
If you can do that, you have succeeded.
So as your kids try out for positions on teams, for parts in musicals or to move up in their class rankings, never stop pushing them to be more and better.
But while you are doing that, remind them that no one outside of their own heart can ever be the judge and jury of success for them.
And only that can be done while looking back on it when it’s all over.
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We were talking about what they wanted to do for a living, and what would be the perfect job for them.
It got me thinking about the concept of dreams and what those dreams really are about.
When we talk about dreams, we aren’t talking about those vivid images you have while you are sleeping that either freak you out or make you wake up in a cold sweat.
We are talking about what your goals are. What is it you want from your life? Your job? Your spouse? Your kids? Your house? When you envision the rest of your life, what does it look like?
The conversation with the kids last week was insightful. Most of the people in this small group of high schoolers were cautiously optimistic about college and the opportunities that would pop up on the other side of it. It was a good conversation and I walked away with a good feeling and good information to file away in the warehouse of my mind.
We encourage kids at that stage in life, and understandably so, to “go for it”. We want them to aim as high as possible—to dream really big and not let anything stand in the way of getting “there”. There is not a thing wrong with that at all. Not one thing. We should be cheering young people on to reach as high as they can reach to show everyone (including themselves) what they are really capable of.
But that is also where things can get sideways.
We prod kids to do more and be more and achieve more than they ever thought they could, but in the process we sometimes set a false standard on what “success” in making those dreams a reality means.
With the leaves changing and the nights are cooler, I get kind of reflective.
The special aide who helped me overcome my stuttering and lispy speech through elementary and middle school passed away a few years ago. In her final moments on this earth, I was made aware of her condition and that she had heard me on the radio from her home in Fulton County. She put a lot of work into me because my dream was to be a radio play-by-play announcer and sportscaster. My obstacles in reaching that dream were significant, but she would not let me quit on them no matter how much I wanted to sometimes.
I know she knew that “we did it”, and we did it together.
As I went to the funeral home to pay my final respects later that week, word filtered through her family that I was there. When I got to the front of the line, they gathered around me to listen to my stories of spending every Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoon with her repeating “Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore” over and over and over again.
I’ll never forget Mrs. Belcher, nor her family, for as long as I live.
But consider this: my ‘dream job’ was to be the play-by-play voice of the Chicago Cubs. I grew up in a house without cable or satellite TV, where the channel was changed on the television by the person closest to it getting up and rolling a dial to one of the other five stations we could see. Mom and I listened to those afternoon Cubs broadcasts every day, and it was then that I made the determination that there was no more noble cause for me than to take the games to people who could not be at them like Vince Lloyd, Lou Boudreau, Harry Caray, Milo Hamilton and others had done for me.
That dream of having my work address be 1060 West Addison has not and will not ever come to fruition.
So, has my career been a failure? Hardly.
We all have to understand that as we push ourselves to reach out for our dreams, our dreams are just goals that we set for ourselves and our lives. Sometimes those goals are not reachable. Sometimes those dreams were reachable but not meant to be. Whether you believe in God or fate or karma or whatever, you must understand that almost no one achieves their goals to 100% satisfaction.
Goals are also not a right. No one is entitled to reach their goal. No one, and I mean no one, can demand others step aside for the sake of their goal.
Our satisfaction ultimately must come from a place inside of us that can look back, when it’s all over, and say “I got out of myself 100% of everything I possibly could have”.
If you can do that, you have succeeded.
So as your kids try out for positions on teams, for parts in musicals or to move up in their class rankings, never stop pushing them to be more and better.
But while you are doing that, remind them that no one outside of their own heart can ever be the judge and jury of success for them.
And only that can be done while looking back on it when it’s all over.
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