When planning a speech, the experts agree, it is good to warm up to the audience with a humorous story or joke.

Indiana's U.S. Congressman Mark Souder (R-Third District), using this time-tested formula, began his Kosciusko County Lincoln Day dinner talk with this offering:

"An American, an Englishman and a Frenchman were out for a walk. They came across a magical lamp.

"Rubbing the lamp brought forth a genie. 'You each have one wish,' he said.

"The American thought for a while and said, 'My great-great-grandfather was a farmer, my great-grandfather was a farmer, my grandfather was a farmer, I'm a farmer and my children will be farmers.

"'I wish for the American soil to always be fertile.'

"Poof!

"'Your wish is granted!' The genie said, 'American soil will always be fertile.'

"The Frenchman was next and he asked that his country be walled off from everyone, that no one could come in and no one could leave.

"Poof!

"'Your wish is granted!' the genie said. 'There is a wall around France.'

"The Brit scratched his forehead and said, 'Tell me about this wall."'

"'Well,' said the genie, 'it is 100 feet high and 50 feet thick.'

"'Fill it with water,' said the Englishman."

County Republican Party members laughed appreciatively Thursday in 2517 Restaurant, Warsaw, and the representative warmed up to his subject.

"We clearly learned some of our friends weren't so friendly," Souder said about recent relations with France and other countries regarding the U.S. Operation Iraqi Freedom. "But as Gen. Schwartzkopf said, going to war with France is like going to war with an accordion."

In Washington, Souder is a member of the government reform committee, resources committee and select committee on homeland security, and chairman of the subcommittee on criminal justice, drug policy and human resources.

Souder noted that European countries have disarmed and only have two planes capable of lifting troops. "They couldn't have helped us if they wanted to," he said.

Souder said buildings to house "weapons of mass destruction" were discovered in Iraq and the WMDs were either moved out or the Iraqis were well on the way to evolving the technology.

"One thing is for sure, we are not going to tolerate any country harboring terrorists or terrorist activities."

He said he was thankful we have a president who is unswayed by national media broadcasts.

"It's clear Saddam Hussein was counting on a political victory when he saw thousands of people demonstrating. He couldn't have a military victory," the congressman said.

Calling the late Lance Cpl. David Fribley of Atwood a true hero, he noted Fribley was moved to enlist with the Marines because of the terrorist attacks on the United States Sept. 11, 2001.

"We've had 198 casualties in Iraq. Far more than that were killed last weekend in automobile accidents," he said. "Three thousand people died Sept. 11. Drug and alcohol abuse kills 30,000 each year. We have to be careful we don't focus on one problem when the lion is at the door."

Since the fall of 2001, 125 terrorist attempts have been discovered and thwarted, Souder said.

"Will we have the will to remain diligent? Narcotics is the primary funding source of terrorist activities and drug and alcohol abuse is the No. 1 problem in the U.S."

He told a story about a South American man, a recovered drug addict, who took Souder to his country.

Seeing the impoverished conditions there, Souder commented he wasn't grateful enough to be an American.

County GOP chairman Mike Gavin introduced Young Republicans chairman Mike Harstine who said the group has 10 members currently.

"Congressman Souder told us last fall having a Young Republican organization would be hard here because we have no enemies and no issues. But I have a passion to get people involved in their community."

The YRs have been involved in Warsaw's curbside recycling program, invite speakers to their meetings and will host a public candidate forum Tuesday. [[In-content Ad]]